When I see You, Everything becomes clear.
Everything.
I don't know everything, don't have all the answers. But when I see your face, I have nothing more to say or ask. In Your presence, at your feet, all knees are bowed.
Be still and know that I am God
-Ps.46
that He is God. That He is God, almighty. What does it mean to know that He is God?
He is the God who watches over me, who does not sleep nor slumber, who loves me and knows me by name and every hair and detail about me, who can move the hearts of kings like water, who created me and my thoughts and my most treasured abilities, who brings people together and guides them in the path He desires, who hears the cries of the afflicted and the pleas of the helpless, who lifts up the humble, who is Father and Friend.
When we are drowned in His presence, when we see only Him, when we are still and know that He is God, when we are in that secret place where our hearts are open to Him, seeking His face.
Your perfect grace has brought me to this place
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Meeting other Christians
Cool story:
I was playing guitar outside on a bench in front of my apartment. 20 min later, this elderly couple comes by and says hi to me. I had known for a while that they were Christian because of the fish symbol on the back of their car, but they didn't know that I was. They talked to me a bit and said their son plays guitar/leads worship up in his Church, and I asked which Church. Finally they asked me what kind of music I play--and I said that I also play worship music. And they were like: oh I knew it; we were sitting in our living room thinking to ourselves that it must be.
And I found out that they've been going to the same Tuesday evening service that I've been going to--which was a further WOAH, because it's a charismatic service (which in my mind basically means 1 hour of worship, singing each song's chorus on repeat for a long time). She also gave me a worship CD that her son produced.
That was really cool. Praise God.
(maybe i should have approached them first tho... since I clearly knew a while back)
I was playing guitar outside on a bench in front of my apartment. 20 min later, this elderly couple comes by and says hi to me. I had known for a while that they were Christian because of the fish symbol on the back of their car, but they didn't know that I was. They talked to me a bit and said their son plays guitar/leads worship up in his Church, and I asked which Church. Finally they asked me what kind of music I play--and I said that I also play worship music. And they were like: oh I knew it; we were sitting in our living room thinking to ourselves that it must be.
And I found out that they've been going to the same Tuesday evening service that I've been going to--which was a further WOAH, because it's a charismatic service (which in my mind basically means 1 hour of worship, singing each song's chorus on repeat for a long time). She also gave me a worship CD that her son produced.
That was really cool. Praise God.
(maybe i should have approached them first tho... since I clearly knew a while back)
Monday, August 20, 2012
Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts, because I can't just keep talking to myself in my head
In two months of working, I've played the same amount of tennis as the last 4 years of college. Says a lot about how much tennis I played in college.
At work, I asked an employee about why our Vendors sometimes leave early or come late and she responded: 'well, [anonymous company] people think very highly of themselves. Well, I mean, it is a good company'
Funny. so, people think more highly of themselves when they work for a good company. Interesting that she jumped to such a conclusion. (Maybe I think more lowly of my company because I work for my company haha... jk...maybe..)
I wonder what percentage of people see the company as a whole, and as their own, rather than just things to get done and a boss to please. It's hard to see the big picture unless you're at the top. A friend told me it sucks to work at Apple because you'll never know what you're working on.
I noticed that quite a few people talk about leaving--not seriously leaving, but they just throw it into conversation as a side comment: "yea, maybe I might leave by then". None of them are serious--I mean, because some of them just bought a house. But you know how it is; it makes you feel better. It's a pride thing. It's a I-can-do-better-than-this pride thing. Or, it's a I-don't-deserve-to-suffer thing. It's tempting to think that way, to be prideful. Especially if you grew up middle-class, protected, sheltered and privileged. It's hard to come back to the I-don't-deserve-any-of-this mentality. To be grateful, not thinking that you deserve the privilege to do whatever you want.
Really, all of this is really pointless. I mean, really? Career goals? Ambitions? Social life? Success? Adventure? Seriously? You want to go after all of that and add up your scores on each category and rate how good your life is? Seriously, God will call each person to something different. There is no greater meaning than following after God.
In two months of working, I've played the same amount of tennis as the last 4 years of college. Says a lot about how much tennis I played in college.
At work, I asked an employee about why our Vendors sometimes leave early or come late and she responded: 'well, [anonymous company] people think very highly of themselves. Well, I mean, it is a good company'
Funny. so, people think more highly of themselves when they work for a good company. Interesting that she jumped to such a conclusion. (Maybe I think more lowly of my company because I work for my company haha... jk...maybe..)
I wonder what percentage of people see the company as a whole, and as their own, rather than just things to get done and a boss to please. It's hard to see the big picture unless you're at the top. A friend told me it sucks to work at Apple because you'll never know what you're working on.
I noticed that quite a few people talk about leaving--not seriously leaving, but they just throw it into conversation as a side comment: "yea, maybe I might leave by then". None of them are serious--I mean, because some of them just bought a house. But you know how it is; it makes you feel better. It's a pride thing. It's a I-can-do-better-than-this pride thing. Or, it's a I-don't-deserve-to-suffer thing. It's tempting to think that way, to be prideful. Especially if you grew up middle-class, protected, sheltered and privileged. It's hard to come back to the I-don't-deserve-any-of-this mentality. To be grateful, not thinking that you deserve the privilege to do whatever you want.
Really, all of this is really pointless. I mean, really? Career goals? Ambitions? Social life? Success? Adventure? Seriously? You want to go after all of that and add up your scores on each category and rate how good your life is? Seriously, God will call each person to something different. There is no greater meaning than following after God.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
noooo .. school...
AHH I can't believe people are starting school, like my college friends starting grad/med/pharm school and the whole US starting college and soon elementary/middle/high school. I realized a month ago that I am no longer excited about school supplies. Like, I have absolutely no need to buy mechanical pencils or post-it notes or 'interesting' organizers in those sections anymore. I used to always browse through those sections at Walmart, just for fun. But now, there really is no interest. I don't even use pens anymore, except for writing checks. (why is blogger saying that 'anymore' is not a word... -___-)
People used to say that this was the awkward period of time when you're not yet married, but you're out of college. I think they say that because there's no 'set' thing to focus on--it all depends on the person, the life they want and the situation. Some single people work really hard, all the time; some have fun all the time, working as little as possible; some get involved in the community; some stick close to their parents/siblings. There's no really set norm for what's expected. And single people tend to change jobs and move around a lot before they're settled. I guess, more of a nomad, irregular life period.
I guess one thing the bible does point out is that single people should (be able to) focus on God more, pleasing God. I wonder if I am using this time to that effect.
People used to say that this was the awkward period of time when you're not yet married, but you're out of college. I think they say that because there's no 'set' thing to focus on--it all depends on the person, the life they want and the situation. Some single people work really hard, all the time; some have fun all the time, working as little as possible; some get involved in the community; some stick close to their parents/siblings. There's no really set norm for what's expected. And single people tend to change jobs and move around a lot before they're settled. I guess, more of a nomad, irregular life period.
I guess one thing the bible does point out is that single people should (be able to) focus on God more, pleasing God. I wonder if I am using this time to that effect.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
yo man, how it going man (Work Update)
it's so funny hear people use the word "man" in interactions when they have an accent, and when they're not like highschool/college-aged guys, but older.
hey man, can you do this for me man? lot on hold for you man. hey man, how it going man.
Today there was some mandatory boring no-laptops-allowed meeting that I fell asleep in; my coworkers took pictures of me. Nothing has changed.
The thing I love about work is that multi-tasking, both logistically/mentally (remembering everything) and physically (doing other things while listening at meetings/trainings), is necessary--you don't need to feel guilty about it. It's not only necessary, but it's a good thing, a good skill. I multi-task more than I ever had before, and I still forget everything that I need to do and everyone I need to push--i mean, contact. I thought I was good at organizing and administration and logistics and secretary stuff, but apparently I have a long way to go. The millions of tiny little things, people to email, follow-up on, push, get info from, are difficult to keep track of. My favorite parts about work are definitely the fast pace, the administrative stuff and teaching other people.
Again, nothing has changed since college. I loved helping people, I loved the fast pace of college life, and I did a lot of administrative stuff being part of CBS.
I didn't, however, sleep at 10pm. That has changed. And I wasn't as aggressive. Apparently that's how things get done at this company. Email them, IM them, find them at their desk, call them, copy their manager in the email, ask people where they are, use your manager as a power source to push for you, etc etc. Everyone has a bunch of projects and things to do, so the more you wave your arms at them, the quicker they'll get your thing done.
hey man, can you do this for me man? lot on hold for you man. hey man, how it going man.
Today there was some mandatory boring no-laptops-allowed meeting that I fell asleep in; my coworkers took pictures of me. Nothing has changed.
The thing I love about work is that multi-tasking, both logistically/mentally (remembering everything) and physically (doing other things while listening at meetings/trainings), is necessary--you don't need to feel guilty about it. It's not only necessary, but it's a good thing, a good skill. I multi-task more than I ever had before, and I still forget everything that I need to do and everyone I need to push--i mean, contact. I thought I was good at organizing and administration and logistics and secretary stuff, but apparently I have a long way to go. The millions of tiny little things, people to email, follow-up on, push, get info from, are difficult to keep track of. My favorite parts about work are definitely the fast pace, the administrative stuff and teaching other people.
Again, nothing has changed since college. I loved helping people, I loved the fast pace of college life, and I did a lot of administrative stuff being part of CBS.
I didn't, however, sleep at 10pm. That has changed. And I wasn't as aggressive. Apparently that's how things get done at this company. Email them, IM them, find them at their desk, call them, copy their manager in the email, ask people where they are, use your manager as a power source to push for you, etc etc. Everyone has a bunch of projects and things to do, so the more you wave your arms at them, the quicker they'll get your thing done.
Monday, August 6, 2012
life is such a journey
Life is such a journey. I can't believe I tried to make it a plan, a schedule or something. It's difficult to live in the present and not think about the future. Every day for the past couple months at this job, I've tried to figure out my life, my job--and make a verdict on whether this job was for me, and for how long. It's stupid really. You always want more, like the grass is always greener on the other side in your imaginations. Thinking that you have a chance at the greener grass really just makes you proud and easily angry.
The past two work days have been quite enjoyable; last friday was quite stressful, as there was some time crisis and I needed to do something in 2 hours that used to take me 5-6 hours. But it was fun to succeed, to feel like your work was needed, to feel like you did contribute. And today was really nice, to interact with everyone, meet new people, hear about people's experiences all over the world in different fabs, chat with my boss for an hour on random things, stay late at work for fun--because of chatting and waiting for other people to finish stuff (stayed at work from 7am to 8:30pm), etc.
I think, at the core, I'll always love psychology/people. I love seeing different people's personalities, how they react differently and are different. There are so many people at work I can say hi to. I wonder if I'm becoming an extrovert, because saying hi to everyone makes me really happy.
Anyway, I think it'll be a challenge for me to not try to plan out or think excessively about my future. Sometimes it's good... sometimes it's good to think: What in the world am I doing with my life!!?!? This is temporary! -- but the way I was thinking about my future was more like: what career should I do if I end up not liking this industry? Where should I aim to live if I don't like this place, etc. --basically thoughts that stem from fear, and a desire to "be prepared" for life. It's difficult to accept that I can't "be prepared" for life.
And in the midst of this angsty change in life, I forgot what it's like to be in the presence of God; I forgot the sweetness of His presence. When I find it difficult to pray with my spirit, or even with my heart, I know that I've made Christianity a life-application thing and not a knowing Him thing
The past two work days have been quite enjoyable; last friday was quite stressful, as there was some time crisis and I needed to do something in 2 hours that used to take me 5-6 hours. But it was fun to succeed, to feel like your work was needed, to feel like you did contribute. And today was really nice, to interact with everyone, meet new people, hear about people's experiences all over the world in different fabs, chat with my boss for an hour on random things, stay late at work for fun--because of chatting and waiting for other people to finish stuff (stayed at work from 7am to 8:30pm), etc.
I think, at the core, I'll always love psychology/people. I love seeing different people's personalities, how they react differently and are different. There are so many people at work I can say hi to. I wonder if I'm becoming an extrovert, because saying hi to everyone makes me really happy.
Anyway, I think it'll be a challenge for me to not try to plan out or think excessively about my future. Sometimes it's good... sometimes it's good to think: What in the world am I doing with my life!!?!? This is temporary! -- but the way I was thinking about my future was more like: what career should I do if I end up not liking this industry? Where should I aim to live if I don't like this place, etc. --basically thoughts that stem from fear, and a desire to "be prepared" for life. It's difficult to accept that I can't "be prepared" for life.
And in the midst of this angsty change in life, I forgot what it's like to be in the presence of God; I forgot the sweetness of His presence. When I find it difficult to pray with my spirit, or even with my heart, I know that I've made Christianity a life-application thing and not a knowing Him thing
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Born into it
A couple days ago, some of my coworkers were talking about politics and why Bush went into Iraq. One of them was convinced that in the back of Bush's mind was the oil.
But then my other coworker made an interesting counter-argument/comment. It was something about how Bush was born into money, and people who are born into money don't care about money. They don't fight for money. And oil is about money. People who are born into money would care more about fighting for their family or their values and beliefs.
That was interesting. I bet it makes some people self-conscious too. Yea, (most) people who are born into money, don't really seek after the money.
I've been (re)born into God's love, security, acceptance and approval. I've even been (re)born into power. Because my God is all powerful.
But then my other coworker made an interesting counter-argument/comment. It was something about how Bush was born into money, and people who are born into money don't care about money. They don't fight for money. And oil is about money. People who are born into money would care more about fighting for their family or their values and beliefs.
That was interesting. I bet it makes some people self-conscious too. Yea, (most) people who are born into money, don't really seek after the money.
I've been (re)born into God's love, security, acceptance and approval. I've even been (re)born into power. Because my God is all powerful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)