Friday, June 20, 2014

Emotional dad video

My Indian friend posted this video on facebook. It starts with a bunch of Indians who have grown up, saying "how are you dad?"

It was slightly "touching" but.. something about it made me resist it. I was like : no, it shouldn't be like this. They're glorifying and confirming a type of father that should just be loved and appreciated, but not glorified and confirmed. They're declaring what fathers should be like and what a father's role is, based on their own father.

I guess my father had some similarities to the father in the video, but not as extreme.

And part of me was like.... Noooooooo , you have no idea what your Heavenly Father is like.

Anyway, I guess the video is still good. Maybe I've just been thinking too much about my Heavenly Father, haha. And also now that I'm grown up-ish, I see my earthly father as a person, a man, and an older friend, rather than just a father, so I was kinda 'eh' about boxing dads into this "father" box. (as if he's not actually any other role). But maybe the video is more relevant to others' fathers

Sunday, June 8, 2014

women's retreat

Just came back from Terra Nova's women's retreat.

It was really great, and really interesting. It was really women-oriented--my first women's retreat. There were single women, married women, divorced women, married women with kids, pregnant women, etc. Very diverse in age and "stage of life", though in this day and age, there might not really be a set "stage of life" since there's really no set path or 'normal path'. My single friend just shared this article with me today.

Actually, one of the takeaways from the retreat was not really anything taught or discussed, but just something I absorbed/learned from observation. I was so awed by watching how close some single women were to married women with kids, and how married women with kids treated and saw single women the same way (didn't see them as immature, or too young to be friends with them) . I had a good conversation with a married women who had kids, where I didn't feel like she felt I was too young to talk to her; (in fact the fear was probably on my side, where I feared a subtle rejection from married women with kids---was super happy when she facebook friended me).

I watched as one single sister would keep checking up on married women with kids, to see how they were doing. It was beautiful to see the younger single woman initiate the friendship (too) rather than just the other way around. It was refreshing. And beautiful.

Another related thing I noticed was: Sometimes I could not tell who was single and who was married. Some people who looked single, actually were married with many kids. They just had such an 'independent', 'adventurous' spirit. (I always thought that after you had kids, all you really thought about were your kids and their activities)

At Church, I'm so used to people reaching out to the lonely abandoned single people. As for couples, well, they already at least have each other so they're good. But that's really not always true. Women need other women too. All the brokenness shared at the retreat really opened my eyes to all the pain both married and single women can experience from relationships.

One more take-away: one pastor's wife mentioned the book 'sex and the supremacy of Christ', and how sex is something created by God meant to be an example of intimacy, just as marriage is a 'reflection'/example of the Marriage between Christ (the Bridegroom) and the Church (the Bride). God wants to have a relationship with us, and be that intimate with us. We are His bride.

One woman on the retreat said she had trouble with the idea of being "the Bride of Christ", and she felt God saying to her: "it's okay. You can be my little girl. I am a gentleman and I will wait for you".