You Hold Me Now

Last Sunday, Pastor Todd preached at First Assembly of God. After his sermon, he played a song. For some reason, I recorded the song. I'm glad I did. Here it is:

People you don't know

Jesus looked at the crowds and had compassion on them.

I was just thinking of my friend who is almost a doctor... doing residency now. Just hearing how she can't take it anymore, can't continue, can't see all these people dying, in pain, all the time. And then she goes to a relative's funeral. And wonders why she should cry more if someone she knew died. There are so many who are dying all the time. But actually, these patients. She knows them now. She hears their stories.

I was just thinking about that and how we can be easily overwhelmed by the pain that surrounds us, not just in our lives, but in all those around us. Of course, I cannot even begin to understand my friend's situation, because she sees people dying and in pain almost 24/7... she's there all the time, and doesn't get much sleep.

And of course I can't even begin to understand how much God grieves for those who don't believe, who don't trust Him, who destroy themselves without knowing it, who ingest pain. If we can cry for people we don't know, how much more can God weep for those He does know, since He knows us all.

Jesus looked on the crowds and had compassion on them.

Then what?

Then Jesus sits and cries?

No. He preaches, heals, speaks truth, comforts, corrects, loves.

He gives them hope.

He says Your sins are forgiven--Sin no more.

He says, Your faith has healed you; go in peace.

He says There is one thing you lack--sell everything you have, give to the poor and follow me. He says Cast your net on the other side

He says.

He preaches.

He speaks truth.

He gives life.

He loves.

He doesn't just mourn. He has compassion and then goes to heal them or to tell them what they need to hear.

There are appropriate times for mourning and grieving. But there are also times when we must ask for God's hope to fill us, where we must have faith in His faithfulness, and be confident of the work He is doing. To pray and know that He hears. To pray and know that we have received what we have prayed for. To believe in transformation, for us and for other brothers/sisters. To fast.

Lord, give me wisdom to know what is appropriate.

Thank you for giving me wisdom.

Defend Yourself

Mark 4:18-19

"Still others, like seed sown among thorns hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful"

The worries of this life. what a lie those worries are. Worries that steal our heart. I'm taking the sword of God's word and defending myself from the worries of this life. Don't you dare steal my heart.

Life is short. What are we doing if our heart isn't after Him? What in this world has stolen our heart from God? What on this earth can possibly compare, can possibly compete, can possibly steal our heart from the One we love? And yet it's true again and again. That we forget that it was God who taught us to walk, who took us by the arms. It was He who healed us and gave us strength.

Psalm 103

"so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children's children"

Life is short. Seek first the Kingdom of God.

Take hold of the sword and the armor of God and defend yourself.

So Encouraged and Blessed

So encouraged by God's love in others, and people's heart and hunger for God.

So blessed to be able to see hunger and thirst for God all around me.

Moved as I see people weep at the things God weeps for.

quote from Donald Miller:

"...Sometimes you have to watch someone love something before you can love it yourself"

I am blessed to know people who really love God. And sometimes as we watch someone love God, we learn more about how to love God, or what it looks like to love God.

So encouraged by Church and Interfellowship Prayer Meetings.

Keep praying and pursuing God! Don't look at what God has called the people around you to, but ask Him where He is calling YOU.

After Jesus hinted to Peter the kind of death he would die, Peter said to Jesus "Lord, what about him?" Peter was referring to John, probably his closest buddy among the disciples. God had a different path for John. And God calls each of us to different functions, paths, just as He has given us different gifts. Don't compare and don't judge. But pray for each other and love each other.

Throwing out my internship support letters

Today I talked with a friend who encouraged me to think about all my connections, as I struggle to find an internship.

And since then I've been thinking of anyone, everyone I could possibly send an email or fb message to, to ask if they know anyone who works for materials science-related companies that could refer me.

And then I thought of support letters. haha. because yesterday, JW from Campus Crusade was talking about how to raise financial support for missions. One of the things he said was to name-storm a list of 20 people we could ask. except this is not God's Kingdom-related stuff, but I still felt like I was making a list of people in my mind and searching in my mind for every suitable person to ask.

So yea, if you are able to help me out with internships or know someone who is able or who might be able, I'm ready to accept and ask for help.

Beautiful

This song really spoke to me.

It's a beautiful song beautifully performed, called Beautiful =)

Yes, I do want to be beautiful.

To be worthy of love

To hear God say, who I am is quite enough

I'm not sure what other people got from the song, but I talked to one person and for both of us, physical beauty never came to mind when we heard this song. For me, it was inner beauty; for her it was the beauty of who you are?(forgot exactly what)--and the mirror part made her think of Mulan looking into the reflection of the water and the song Reflection.

In the end,

I just want to be beautiful for God

To be in His presence.

In the end, meaning at the end of the day,

meaning when I get a chance to look past my present concerns,

when I am able to remember eternal joy.

I have been told that life is still life, and you still have to consider reality. so yes, we must continue on, and not always have our headphones on, drowning out the existence of the rest of the world. We enjoy the time we get to spend in God's presence, and His joy is still our strength while we go about everyday things. But sometimes I do wish that I could put my headphones on and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist, and just enjoy these songs that make me think of eternal things. But Jesus didn't do that. He looked at the crowds with compassion. I kinda just ignore the crowds sometimes and wish I was somewhere comfortable and secure. =/

At Cru's Love Out Loud thing today, we were challenged (among other things) to notice people around us, even those who pass us while walking, or those who clean our buildings, or those in our classes. To notice whatever you want... their expressions, conversations, actions, emotions. It's easy to miss what you're not looking for.

Judging

Today I remembered something I had said two or three months ago that was wrong. I realized what I said was wrong and that the attitude in which I said it was also wrong. As soon as I realized that, I was like "crap, I should apologize", but then I decided against it since it's super trivial.

Yet, it made me think of how I judge others, and how in this situation other people could have judged me for saying something really biased or wrong or prideful.

Also, because of this, I was reminded that when I judge others for prideful statements or attitudes, I forget that these people may have already repented, or that several months later, when God convicts them as He has convicted me, they will repent. Just thinking about this--how these people I am judging could be changed by God and could very shortly repent of the things I am judging them for--makes me feel really bad about judging them.

Not to mention that I deserve also to be judged for the same exact things!

--

A quote I liked from Dr. Cornelius Plantinga, jr.
He challenged us:

"Do we put the best face on someone else's motives while suspecting our own?"

Humbled

It's a real blessing from God when He humbles us.

I have been greatly blessed today.

The Kingdom of God can only be received by empty hands

-Michale Crosby

It is really only the poor in spirit who can, actually, have anything because they are the ones who know how to receive gifts.

For them, everything is a gift.

-Simon Tugwell

It is good to give, but sometimes we need to learn how to receive--to receive well, and not with a prideful attitude. Pride hinders us from receiving good things from God (and from others).