I suddenly had a realization today.
That I will miss 2020. I will miss this time.
Not to be insensitive about how horrible this pandemic, the fires, worsening global economy, etc are... but I am starting to love my life right now.
I have so much time to myself, to read, to sleep, to chat with people, to do hobbies, to journal, to experience God's presence. I can sleep late and also sleep in unless I have early meetings. I have grown personally; I have learned things about myself. I have grown spiritually. Many of my friendships have deepened, and sometimes it almost feels like I'm on a constant retreat. Those Church retreats where you stay up late to talk, because this is the one time all year you can do that with your friends. Except every week is like a retreat. The last few months feel like a long retreat to me. A retreat of personal discovery, and deepened relationships with God and people.
Also, because of all the stuff happening this year, I can feel people around me changing, including myself. Not just people changing, but routines changing, procedures and processes changing. I like this type of change because it helps people break out of their old routine, their old way of thinking and rethink their life.
For example, my manager said he never thought we would be able to do quarter close remotely. But now that we have done it for several quarters, he is rethinking his long term ideals for working from home. Perhaps even after COVID is over, we will work from home half the week. Also, he never thought he personally could work from home effectively, given that he has kids. But it turns out that he can.
Things we thought we couldn't do, or wouldn't be effective, turn out to be fine during COVID. If we can change our life routines, we can change other more important things too, like our hearts.
I am so excited because I am starting to see this change. I am starting to see a shift, in myself and others.
Change is hard. but this year, we are forced or pushed to change. Pushed to rethink life. (The negative approach to thinking about this is: if we can't even change this year, then when can we ever change? If we can't humble ourselves in a pandemic, when can we ever be humble? - I admit that in my frustration with humanity and perhaps myself, I have thought these thoughts too. Rest assured that I am by no means "overly" optimistic here.)
A couple years ago, I had a life coach for 8 months. She's a professional life coach and an ordained minister. She was really great. I thought it was funny though, that even though life coaches aren't supposed to tell you their personal opinion; they're supposed to just help you discover it yourself, she would tell me that through her many years of personal experience, she has realized that "people don't change". So she told me to not expect people to change.
I both agree and disagree.
People do change. I have seen people change. If they want to, and/or if God intervenes. It's just a slow and stubborn process. It's often slower than you want, but faster than you think. And when you look at it every day, you won't notice any change. But if you step back and look holistically, you'll realize, there has been (some) change after all.
But yes, the core of who we are, doesn't change. And yes, a lot of people don't change. (at least not in the way that you want them to :P )
