I realized recently that it actually feels pretty "insecure" to not have hobbies (that define you, that you can hold onto).
I'm most interested in people and doing things for people and making people happy and being around people I love.
The problem with that is that you rely on others. And that makes me feel vulnerable. I just exist to make others happy?? What if others don't need you, don't want you? What about my own identity?
It makes it hard to answer things like: "What is your dream career? What are you interested in?"
Or when people tell you to "stop living for others" and to "do what you want to do". But what do I really want to do? What do I want? What do I even like? Who am I?
--
I'm kind of in a slump these days, at work and personal/spiritual life. I don't feel passionate about anything. I sort of feel like maybe I should change careers, but I don't know what I should change to. I'm unmotivated at work, and I can't figure out why. Is it because everything is remote, and I'm motivated by people interaction? (And by "people interaction" I really mean coworkers roasting each other and telling funny stories of their moms or whatever)
As much as I hated globalfoundries, I remember it was fun, and I was motivated (at least the first two years). Everyone was a fresh grad from college or grad school. We would roast each other at work, gossip about stuff, eat lunch together, get angry at "stupid" people at work. Fun times. But how much of that fun is about the people and not the work? I don't know.
