I feel a bit sad leaving my family, especially my brother who is still in high school. Not so much that I'll miss him or that he'll miss me, but more scared that he might not turn out as good without me there helping to explain life and emotions to him, and to mediate between him and my mom. I'm worried about his maturity, his emotional health, and his belief in and relationship with God. But I also trust my mom and dad to take care of him. And I'm trying to trust God. To let go. I'm not his mom anyway. Time to worry about myself and live my own life ?
Part of me is also excited to be farther from the worries of my brother and my family, and my family friends' issues. I still want to know what's going on, but because of the distance, I won't be as preoccupied with their stuff. It won't stress me out as greatly, and I can be a part of a new community in CA.
It feels like I'm letting go of a piece of my life that I really love, and starting something of my own. It takes a while to really get to know a community and enjoy their presence. Maybe as little as a few months, but probably more like half a year to a year. In the meantime, I look forward to enjoying God's presence, God himself and turning my affections and thoughts toward Him. Perhaps getting more into painting in my alone time.
Pretty proud of my first painting, especially since I have basically no artistic talent. To be fair though, I found the picture online, so it wasn't my idea, like I wasn't painting from an image in my mind that I created. That's the goal though, in the future.
