"His kindness draws us to repentance"
I felt this kind of gratefulness today. Something really positive happened. It's technically not a big deal; anyone on the outside would have just been like "that's awesome" and really happy and that's it. But, I was pretty shocked and speechless and grateful, all at the same time. For me, it was especially meaningful; it was redemptive.
I felt like I didn't deserve it, but also at the same time I felt like I did deserve it.
Or rather, I felt like I deserved it, but I couldn't believe I was actually receiving what I deserve, rather than receiving less than I deserve, because of the reality of the way things work.
Anyway, it was a complex emotion.
For someone who pretends not to care about work, I guess I care about work a great deal.
Recently, I had a realization that sometimes asking people about their work is a way of showing you care about them. People spend 40 or more hours working per week. Regardless of whether or not they love their job, they spend a significant portion of their life doing it. So, it makes sense, as someone who loves and cares about them, to want to know what they spend a significant portion of their life doing. I know that usually people give brief answers when asked what they do, because they assume no one is truly interested in what they do. Or that no one will respect or understand what they do.
I realized that sometimes when I ask people about their work, and continue to dig deeper and ask more and more follow-up questions, people are pretty eager to talk about their work.
In the past, I have done this more with guys. And occasionally, as a joke, I call it "ego stroking". I am stroking their ego by talking/asking about their work, and I am stroking my own ego because I am able to understand their work and have a fruitful conversation about work despite not being in their field. However, I recently realized that it is not (just) an ego-stroking activity. It is loving and respecting people and what they spend a significant portion of their lives doing.
I had another theory recently, somewhat related. That guys play more video games now because work is boring and they need some place to be competitive. Work used to be more tiring and competitive, but now we have machines and corporations. In corporations, everything is streamlined so you get just one tiny piece of the puzzle to work on. Life is boring, so you need more work - aka video games. Anyways. just a random thought I had. We are made to work.
