Thursday, January 23, 2020

Boundaries

There's been a lot of  traction on the concept of boundaries. Boundaries in romantic relationships, boundaries in familial/parental relationships, boundaries in friendships, boundaries at work, etc.

It's a very broad term that covers a lot of possible implications.

Sometimes when people say you need to have boundaries, they really mean that you need to take care of yourself. Or, you need to not "lose yourself" through excessive people pleasing. You need to take ownership of your life and make your own decisions about how to spend your time, your life, instead of letting other people invade every aspect and every decision.

That aspect is pretty biblical. We're not called to be pushed around by the world, by others. We're responsible for following God, which is an active decision, not a passive one.

But sometimes I do feel that people excessively (and consistently) avoid loving difficult people because they have over-embraced this concept of boundaries.

It's hard to separate cultural vs biblical ideas sometimes. Just like it can be hard to distinguish between having boundaries and lacking compassion.

When Jesus went around in his ministry and he was tired, sometimes he would withdraw to recharge by himself and pray. But sometimes he would look on the crowd (despite being also tired) and have compassion on them and give them what they need. People are constantly coming to Jesus for healing and drawing out of him what they need, and Jesus allows that. His "boundaries" seem much smaller than most of our boundaries. He's not doing things out of people pleasing though, but he recognizes that he is being drawn towards Kingdom activities by the great need of the people. Purposeful Kingdom-driven compassion, not a "compassion" fueled from ego and a need to be needed or excessive people pleasing.

But yea, this is where hearing God's voice and/or having His discernment/wisdom makes doing His work easier. There's a time to have compassion and press into the need, and a time to withdraw and mark boundaries, depending on both the season and the situation.