Just read this article about why women can't have it all, and how even the famous line "you can have it all, but just not all at once" is not entirely accurate.
Of course the article was written by an extremely ambitious woman-- and I have no desire to be as ambitious (she wakes up at 4:30am etc and only comes home on weekends)
But it reminded me of when I felt strongly about this subject a year or two ago. Even though no one has ever come up to me and explicitly said "if you were a mother and got promoted to be a director, I would not respect that as much as if a guy/father got promoted to be a director", I have always strongly felt that sentiment. Just from observation of Asian or traditional culture, and the way they (over) praise men who do well in their careers and "talk about" women who do well in their careers in this weird tone, makes me feel uneasy. About successful women, they'll say things like: That girl is very "li hai" (in chinese), which means that woman is very capable, but it's like this neutral to almost negative tone, implying they are "aggressive", which tends to be a negative connotation for women.
It's like the aggressive woman that is unwanted for marriage.
Even though I wouldn't consider myself an aggressive woman, maybe it is because I've never been allowed to show that part of myself, because it's not wanted in this world. And I don't want to be unwanted.
I remember when I used to play tennis, I was always jealous of men's tennis and how they could hit winners and then scream at their opponent "Yea!!!" whereas women had to be nice and do a silent fist pump to themselves. I want to win obnoxiously too, like men.
I think when I had this realization that not everyone has the same respect for women as they have for men who are successful in their careers, I felt unmotivated to really try in my career. Like, why should I try when I won't be rewarded socially? (Because I also have a desire to be socially accepted and socially successful). If a woman earns $300K and is an executive at a fortune 500 company, people are wary of her ability to be a "present mother", but if a man does the same, he is praised. How is that fair?
Anyway, I have honestly never considered myself a feminist. I have even mocked / teased my feminist friends. But today is the day I repent for that. Because I realized that maybe I do empathize with the hurt women have felt, from sexist thoughts. Though, similar to the article, I do believe women and men were created differently and there are inherent gender differences. But, women can have dreams too.
