It's Friday

First Friday after work. Sitting in Panera because I don't have internet yet.
I only learned the TGIF (thank God it's friday) acronym a year ago. I don't like the acronym too much because it sometimes implies this negative just-live-for-the-weekends mentality that I don't believe in. Every day is life, and I thank God for work to do. (but yes, I am tired and glad that it's Friday. I'm awake and alert mentally, but physically super tired)

Thankful for friendly colleagues. Random people who give me advice, and all the people who help train me. I've had so many one-on-one teaching sessions with people this week, with at least 7 different people helping me.

It's weird how the people you interact with--not even hang out with, but simply just interact with-- have so big an influence on your mentality/outlook on things. So, in a couple weeks, I'll be assigned to night shift. There was this one day when I interacted with several permanent day-time employees. They said things like: 'night shift will be hard', 'it will kill you', or asked me why I didn't go for higher education. When the day was over, I almost felt sorry for myself too. I was actually really touched that people cared about me enough to feel sympathetic. Some were fatherly older men who tried to give me advice; some were young moms and such, all older people. But then, the next day, I was with some other new hires, all of whom will be on some of kind of night/late shift, and they all had this ambivalent, or chill attitude about it. And my mindset changed to seeing it as a normal thing, some part of life thing.

But yea, I guess that's why while living life, we need to constantly remember why we're living, what our goal is, and preach to ourselves what we believe in, and what is true and lasting. What is worth living for. and working for. So, yea, it's always important for me to remind myself that this job (and every job, everything) is a blessing from God, and that in everything, small or big, I desire to glorify God in my work and my life, my attitude and heart. And most of all, I am His beloved and precious daughter, whom He loves and is proud of.

Haven't found a Church yet, but hoping to visit one this Sunday that also has an evening service, so that I can go to that when night shift begins.

Surprise one more week at home!

So glad I have one more week at home! I initially was so ready to go to work and stuff, and was pretty excited, but now I have another week because Cornell can't verify my degree until Friday. Slowness.

I really don't like posting photos on this blog or updating actual personal life stuff (that isn't deep). But I guess this will be an exception. here's a good set of pictures of my brother and I from two weeks ago at the local mall. Too good to not share.

Today I played basketball with him, watched him sit on the skateboard and roll down the driveway, and made him walk barefoot on grass to see how it feels. It's supposed to be healthy for you as well, like the electricity from the ground or something is supposed to ... do something. But I didn't tell him that part. 

What I learned these past few weeks are that kids are very moldable, but it takes a lot of creativity, wisdom and effort to train them in the right direction. My brothers complains a lot sometimes, and  sometimes says things like "you will never take me to [insert restaurant]" in order to try to manipulate you into promising to take him there. Today, I suddenly remembered the thing I had learned at the alabaster retreat 6 months ago, about how that pastor always makes his kids tell him what they're thankful for. So, I was like "you complain too much; tell me 5 things you're thankful for today". It was good. He named 4 things. 

Sigh. Inside, everyone's an immature kid. We just don't see it, but we are. 

Okay good. I made some semi-deep comment. haha. just kidding. 

Protecting

To fear the Lord is to hate evil ~Proverbs 8:13

My hatred for evil has definitely decreased a lot since coming back home. I remember last month, when a brother said he was going to Shanghai by himself to intern for the summer, I was like: !!!!!! NOOOO..! don't fall away! !! and I made plans to email him and ask brothers to email him

But now I'm like eh. Not as protective or alert about the spiritual wellbeing of my brothers/sisters

Today, a brother (CBS alum that I barely know) who lives in Albany area contacted me, saying "Hey Jamie, Just checking up" and asked if I had moved in yet, and offered to help me find a Church. He warned me not to forget to find a community in the midst of settling in, and said he could introduce me to his fiance for sisterly support. And ended the message with urging me not to feel lonely because there are definitely people around, and urged me to stay strong and close to God. "Don't forget to pray" was the last sentence.

It hit me that I haven't really been communicating with God. And I realized that I also currently don't really feel protective of my brothers and sisters as he does. ... And I also don't hate sin very much, as I am slipping into sin.

I need to remember what sin does. How it steals, kills and destroys. I need God's love to love people. If I really loved people, I would care more that they know God, than that they know me. I realized that, for us CBS alum, it's more important to make sure people are not slipping away, than it is to "keep in touch".

My (11 yr old) brother has been reminding me to spend time with God. Last week, he was upset because he said I never spend time with him anymore. It was humbling to hear, because I always assumed that I must be a wonderful sister if he likes me so much. At first I was pretty defensive and said it was his fault because he doesn't do anything I would want to do with him. Ten minutes later, I came back and told him I would spend an hour with him every day from now on, but that I also have to spend an hour with God too because if I don't spend time with God, then I can't love people, b/c love comes from God. He liked that. So now after I play with him, he asks me if I'm going to go spend time with God. And I'm like yes.

Rich or poor, God I want you more
than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire
~All we need by Charlie Hall