Protecting

To fear the Lord is to hate evil ~Proverbs 8:13

My hatred for evil has definitely decreased a lot since coming back home. I remember last month, when a brother said he was going to Shanghai by himself to intern for the summer, I was like: !!!!!! NOOOO..! don't fall away! !! and I made plans to email him and ask brothers to email him

But now I'm like eh. Not as protective or alert about the spiritual wellbeing of my brothers/sisters

Today, a brother (CBS alum that I barely know) who lives in Albany area contacted me, saying "Hey Jamie, Just checking up" and asked if I had moved in yet, and offered to help me find a Church. He warned me not to forget to find a community in the midst of settling in, and said he could introduce me to his fiance for sisterly support. And ended the message with urging me not to feel lonely because there are definitely people around, and urged me to stay strong and close to God. "Don't forget to pray" was the last sentence.

It hit me that I haven't really been communicating with God. And I realized that I also currently don't really feel protective of my brothers and sisters as he does. ... And I also don't hate sin very much, as I am slipping into sin.

I need to remember what sin does. How it steals, kills and destroys. I need God's love to love people. If I really loved people, I would care more that they know God, than that they know me. I realized that, for us CBS alum, it's more important to make sure people are not slipping away, than it is to "keep in touch".

My (11 yr old) brother has been reminding me to spend time with God. Last week, he was upset because he said I never spend time with him anymore. It was humbling to hear, because I always assumed that I must be a wonderful sister if he likes me so much. At first I was pretty defensive and said it was his fault because he doesn't do anything I would want to do with him. Ten minutes later, I came back and told him I would spend an hour with him every day from now on, but that I also have to spend an hour with God too because if I don't spend time with God, then I can't love people, b/c love comes from God. He liked that. So now after I play with him, he asks me if I'm going to go spend time with God. And I'm like yes.

Rich or poor, God I want you more
than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire
~All we need by Charlie Hall