Friends

Some friends/coworkers threw me a surprise birthday party today. Really took me by surprise since it's a few days before my real birthday; I thought one of them was just making me dinner.

It really feels really great to have friends, no matter what kind or how close, how silly or how real. I used to be really amazed when I realize I have friends. like Wow. I have friends? Now I'm just so thankful that I have so many friends, and real friends too, even in a new place, new environment. I'm so amazed that I can make friends, like real friends, completely from scratch, in a new place. It's a scary thing sometimes--moving around, thinking you'll never have real friends again.

And just as it starts to get warm, you realize it's time to go out again.

cake my coworker (and sister in Christ) made:

Social group culture/chemistry

Paul says 'I become all things to all people'. 

"all things" and "all people" since there is such a great variety of cultures and people. Most of the time  people similar to each other tend to hang out, but Paul hung out with people different from himself, becoming like those he hung out with, in order to save them. 

I think I've hung out with 4-6 different social groups since I've been in this area, and it's really amazing how different each group is. Their activities, their conversation topics, social dynamics, jokes, how often they meet, what they are willing to share.. Some always have to hang out in a bar with beer and awesome music, some always in a house with a potluck, some in an artsy fashionable place downtown. And there's so many different types of conversations. There's the ones where you jokes about people you know, maybe tease them, maybe complain about family or your personal life. There's the kind that just talks about you and what you enjoy and the places you want to visit, and how you should all do it together; the focus is not about teasing but daily life conversation (usually over tea, usually with only other women). There's the small intimate groups where you just talk about the deep personal stuff/problems and the deep struggles of life. There are the groups that always have some inside joke going on, with outbursts of uncontrollable laughter, and someone is always sitting on someone else (same gender). 

It is really wonderful to experience and befriend people from different cultures, heritage, families, educational backgrounds , economic statuses, with very different job industries, drinking habits, sexual lifestyles/experiences, etc. 

I think a month ago, or maybe even 2 or 3 weeks ago, I had this belief -- or, rather, I was convinced that, I could only ever really get to know and really "click" with people like myself, specifically in terms of ethnicity, upbringing, religious beliefs, educational/familial background, ethnicity/culture of the people they have hung out with their entire life while growing up. 

gah, anyway. Should not do too too much social analysis of my life---might hinder actually living it and going for it. Although I guess, the point of life is not just to have new experiences (like new social experiences or life experiences), but the point is Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Not sure what that means or looks like exactly in my life right now, but even the mention /thought of Jesus and the Kingdom of God changes my heart and thoughts and perspective. 

Culture Shock

From time to time, I still get culture shock from living in Albany area, NY.

It's suburban; it's not a deserted place or anything. There's GE, law firms, nuclear research, nanotechnology centers, etc., and decent school districts. It's just the subtle things.

My workplace actually gives me a safe haven,  because the environment there is more of what I'm used to. Fast paced, social, young, tons of Asians, all engineers, similar economic status. Make fun of each other, complain about other groups, coordinate activities/meetings, find out about company business rumors and spread them around.

Sure, at the root of it all, we're all humans and can relate to anyone from any background of any culture and language. Because we're human. We have the same desires (maybe?) , and the same Creator....but still, we can get culture shock

I don't know how missionaries do it. I'd either get severely culture shocked, or get super sucked in (in a harmful way). But then again, if God took me to heaven right now, I'd be super culture shocked too. I'd be culture shocked when I get up there, and culture shocked when I get back down here to Earth. You usually end up remembering the better place, and get culture shocked from anything that isn't as good as the places and worlds you've lived in previously. It's easier to adjust to the better place. Though, of course, refugees or victims of abuse, still have a hard time adjusting to being set free--but that's an issue of healing, rather than being culture shocked at a better world.

What is culture shock? Jesus didn't have culture shock. He had love. He has love. Culture shock is when you are shocked at the culture, and implies that you are too shocked to be able to relate fully (yet) and be integrated into the culture. Culture shock is definitely something we need to get over if we're going to live somewhere for a while. Culture shock sort of implies some form of detachment due to shock, like you're an observer rather than a participant. And that's never a good place to be. Never be an observer. Always get your hands dirty. That's how love works.

psychologytoday is sometimes ridiculous

I was reading this silly article http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201205/when-escapism-is-good/the-power-online-gaming

It claims that sometimes escapism is good, and the example it gives is video games. The example within that is how one woman became a better driver after playing video games because "The windshield became a rectangular viewfinder into a world of obstacles and foes. 'I keep expecting something to jump out and kill me' [is what she says]"


HAHAHA.. Seriously. Who writes these articles? I don't see how this is supporting his/her viewpoint here. If one of my friends starts thinking the windshield is a viewfinder for foes and obstacles and thinks things are going to jump out and kill them through the windshield, I'd be pretty worried

Is that the standard nowadays? As long as escapism and living in your own fantasy world helps you somehow in daily life (ie become a better driver), it's a good thing. Even if you start imagining your house to be a military fort and anticipating things to jump out at you while you drive.

Shovelin'

Finally snowed enough for a large chunk of people not to come to work, or to come 2 hours+ late.
Working at home today for the first time; a lot of fun

Snow day mindset

So much snow this winter!

I got a lot of "practice" driving in snow, since I still have to get to work even if there's 1-2 feet of snow on the ground. "practice" because you never quite get good at it. You might become more experienced, like no sharp turns, slow down when you turn, etc. but there are still areas where driving in snow is unpredictable, even for the experienced. No amount of practice makes it completely perfect/safe. Like, there was one time, I was making a very wide turn--wasn't even a sharp turn--, and i was physically turning the wheel very slowly, but still going straight even though I was turning the wheel. My car just made beeping sounds at me, telling me that my steering wheel wasn't in sync with my physical tires. Finally after a few seconds, it started turning--just in time. When I was driving back home from work, even the highway was not cleared of snow. You couldn't see where each lane starts or stops, since the whole ground is white.. And it was still snowing sideways--the snow was going straight at my windshield. Since it was dark, all I saw was snow flying at me--couldn't see the road ahead or anything.; probably only saw a few feet in front of where i was driving. Every couple exits, there's a car on the side of the road due to some driving-in-the-snow accident

I don't even give a second thought to all this. I have gotten used to the many snow storms while living here. Driving in the snow is no big deal now. In new jeresey, if it snows this much, there would be a "state emergency" declaration and no one would even bother going to work.

In my company, everyone still came to work. Maybe 50% of the people were an hour late, but that's it. Just an hour. Our vendors/suppliers, however, had "snow day mindset". They'd email us and say that they can't make it to the 11am meeting, since the highways weren't cleared yet, etc. .... My coworker complained that all of globalfoundries was here, what do they mean they can't make it. I was explaining to him that it's not that they can't make it. It's a mindset thing. They just have "snow day mindset". If it snows, they're like OOOO snow day ! . no school, no work. whereas we have a 24/7 operations mindset. The plant operations go on even if weather is terrible.

So yea, it's all a mindset thing. I've worked here so long that I don't even think twice at whether or not I should go into office if there's a snow storm. Of course, I should have this kind of discipline/training for spiritual things too.

Mary Martha

In my women's book study, someone asked an interesting question about the Mary & Martha passage (Luke 10). She asked: "How would you recreate the story?"

Someone said they would have Mary and Martha both do the work so they could finish it in half the time and both sit at Jesus' feet.

Someone else said they would have both of them sit at Jesus' feet, and just have faith that Jesus would provide the food. (just like how He fed the 10,000)

At the time, I said I would have them do the same thing, except that Martha would serve joyfully instead of bitterly, and that Martha wouldn't pick on Mary like that. It seems that Martha has the gift of serving, or the tendency to serve. If you have that tendency, then go do it, but without self-righteousness or complaint. She should think to herself that by working, she can allow Mary to spend time with Jesus. It's just like how some husbands and wives have to rotate watching the baby while the other is inside listening to the service at Church or a retreat. When my brother was a baby, my dad always walked him when he cried in restaurants--so that the rest of us could have a good time. My dad always makes the sacrifice, and never complains.

But now, thinking about the passage again, I think I would just have both of them sit at Jesus' feet. Whether or not Jesus does a miracle and makes food is not important. physical Food is not as important as Spiritual food. They can fast for a meal for all I care. If I was Mary, I would want Martha to also sit by Jesus' feet and share my love for Jesus with me. It seems like in the passage Martha is not "getting" Jesus' presence. If you were really overwhelmed by His presence, you wouldn't behave like Martha.

Funny thing is that every bible study where they discuss this Mary Martha passage, more people say they relate to Martha than to Mary. Maybe because I related more to Mary, I recreated the story at first with Martha still doing the work. But deep inside, I do desire for all the Martha-tendency people to sit and enjoy God without worrying. If my dad went to a retreat, i wouldn't want him worrying about what time to pick up my brother from the kids' center; i would want him to be engaged, and to listen to the word of God