Second Chances

I'm thankful for second chances. I'm even more thankful that there can be multiple second chances.

In a way, that's what the actuarial career is for me. It's like my third 'second chance'. When I switched into materials science from (wanting to do) ECE, I thought to myself that I'll have another chance to do better/well in this completely different field. And now, I have moved from materials science to the actuarial field. To me, it is another chance to maybe/perhaps have some subject that I can semi-do (since it turns out that I can barely do matsci). But, in regards to career paths, who knows where I'll be in the future? Even in a few months, things could change. I'm open to change. I follow God, not my career.

I'm also so, so blessed to be retaking a class this semester. Yes, blessed. I get to retake a class. A matsci class. Seriously, the past two days every time I thought of how I'm retaking this class, it would make me smile. I don't think of the situation with regret or bitterness or any other negative emotion, because the past is over and forgiven. And now I have a second chance. I am so blessed.

I'm also so blessed to have people I know in all my classes. Even the class I'm retaking, there are other Seniors retaking it with me. And this random sophomore level ORIE class that I didn't think I'd know anyone in, I know at least 3 people. AND they saved a seat for me and texted me asking if I was going to come to class (I was 2 minutes late). I don't think I'll be late again to that class. I'm so blessed.

I've never been a natural at this saving-people-seats thing, or the getting-other-people-forks-and-napkins thing, so I'm sometimes very pleasantly surprised when people do that. yea... freshman year when I was first making friends and eating lunch with them. .. they'd get me forks and napkins. I was blown away.

And that reminds me of how, in the new testament, those who perceived themselves as the most sinful, were the most thankful of what Jesus did for them. That He forgave them and loved them and gave them a second chance and believed in them. And gave them hope.

That's what I need to hold onto. Hope. Every time I get stuck while studying for my actuarial exam, I am tempted to think that I'm not smart enough for this. But clinging onto hope gives me strength to try again and again to understand the concepts I could not understand at first.