Stuck in a rut

I've been going to the dentist a lot these few months,  getting my fillings and cleanings and x- rays and consultations.

My dentist suggested some options for aesthetic and functional teeth improvement. He told me the things wrong about my teeth,  some that I noticed and some that I did not know about. I did a lot of research, second opinion gathering, thinking,  looking at pictures of myself , taking pictures of my teeth. And dude it's so funny. When I didn't have my own dentist,  I was fine but now that I have a great dentist who tells me all my teeth imperfections,  It's like stressing me out because I'm not willing to go through the effort to make my teeth perfect. I'm not willing to do braces for two years again and I heard it may cause TMJ which I luckily currently don't have. And veneers cost a lot, are irreversible and require extra care. What if I become a missionary and don't have access to good dentists and don't have spare money every 20 years when I need to get my veneers replaced?

Anyway. So silly of me to get stressed out about this. Sometimes we get fixated on having to fix all our imperfections and it's stupid. I'm not saying it's wrong to fix aesthetic things but we have to realize we'll never be perfect

Go outside. Take a deep breath.

"There's more to life than that. Go outside. Take a deep breath."

lol, what a great quote from a sister. a little (or a lot) out of context, but really applies to any rut we could possibly be stuck in, or any obsession or craving or sin or desire.

(of course there might be limits to 'go outside and take a deep breath'. You could potentially do that forever and get nowhere and still have no direction and no God)

Friends

Some friends/coworkers threw me a surprise birthday party today. Really took me by surprise since it's a few days before my real birthday; I thought one of them was just making me dinner.

It really feels really great to have friends, no matter what kind or how close, how silly or how real. I used to be really amazed when I realize I have friends. like Wow. I have friends? Now I'm just so thankful that I have so many friends, and real friends too, even in a new place, new environment. I'm so amazed that I can make friends, like real friends, completely from scratch, in a new place. It's a scary thing sometimes--moving around, thinking you'll never have real friends again.

And just as it starts to get warm, you realize it's time to go out again.

cake my coworker (and sister in Christ) made:

Social group culture/chemistry

Paul says 'I become all things to all people'. 

"all things" and "all people" since there is such a great variety of cultures and people. Most of the time  people similar to each other tend to hang out, but Paul hung out with people different from himself, becoming like those he hung out with, in order to save them. 

I think I've hung out with 4-6 different social groups since I've been in this area, and it's really amazing how different each group is. Their activities, their conversation topics, social dynamics, jokes, how often they meet, what they are willing to share.. Some always have to hang out in a bar with beer and awesome music, some always in a house with a potluck, some in an artsy fashionable place downtown. And there's so many different types of conversations. There's the ones where you jokes about people you know, maybe tease them, maybe complain about family or your personal life. There's the kind that just talks about you and what you enjoy and the places you want to visit, and how you should all do it together; the focus is not about teasing but daily life conversation (usually over tea, usually with only other women). There's the small intimate groups where you just talk about the deep personal stuff/problems and the deep struggles of life. There are the groups that always have some inside joke going on, with outbursts of uncontrollable laughter, and someone is always sitting on someone else (same gender). 

It is really wonderful to experience and befriend people from different cultures, heritage, families, educational backgrounds , economic statuses, with very different job industries, drinking habits, sexual lifestyles/experiences, etc. 

I think a month ago, or maybe even 2 or 3 weeks ago, I had this belief -- or, rather, I was convinced that, I could only ever really get to know and really "click" with people like myself, specifically in terms of ethnicity, upbringing, religious beliefs, educational/familial background, ethnicity/culture of the people they have hung out with their entire life while growing up. 

gah, anyway. Should not do too too much social analysis of my life---might hinder actually living it and going for it. Although I guess, the point of life is not just to have new experiences (like new social experiences or life experiences), but the point is Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Not sure what that means or looks like exactly in my life right now, but even the mention /thought of Jesus and the Kingdom of God changes my heart and thoughts and perspective. 

Culture Shock

From time to time, I still get culture shock from living in Albany area, NY.

It's suburban; it's not a deserted place or anything. There's GE, law firms, nuclear research, nanotechnology centers, etc., and decent school districts. It's just the subtle things.

My workplace actually gives me a safe haven,  because the environment there is more of what I'm used to. Fast paced, social, young, tons of Asians, all engineers, similar economic status. Make fun of each other, complain about other groups, coordinate activities/meetings, find out about company business rumors and spread them around.

Sure, at the root of it all, we're all humans and can relate to anyone from any background of any culture and language. Because we're human. We have the same desires (maybe?) , and the same Creator....but still, we can get culture shock

I don't know how missionaries do it. I'd either get severely culture shocked, or get super sucked in (in a harmful way). But then again, if God took me to heaven right now, I'd be super culture shocked too. I'd be culture shocked when I get up there, and culture shocked when I get back down here to Earth. You usually end up remembering the better place, and get culture shocked from anything that isn't as good as the places and worlds you've lived in previously. It's easier to adjust to the better place. Though, of course, refugees or victims of abuse, still have a hard time adjusting to being set free--but that's an issue of healing, rather than being culture shocked at a better world.

What is culture shock? Jesus didn't have culture shock. He had love. He has love. Culture shock is when you are shocked at the culture, and implies that you are too shocked to be able to relate fully (yet) and be integrated into the culture. Culture shock is definitely something we need to get over if we're going to live somewhere for a while. Culture shock sort of implies some form of detachment due to shock, like you're an observer rather than a participant. And that's never a good place to be. Never be an observer. Always get your hands dirty. That's how love works.

psychologytoday is sometimes ridiculous

I was reading this silly article http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201205/when-escapism-is-good/the-power-online-gaming

It claims that sometimes escapism is good, and the example it gives is video games. The example within that is how one woman became a better driver after playing video games because "The windshield became a rectangular viewfinder into a world of obstacles and foes. 'I keep expecting something to jump out and kill me' [is what she says]"


HAHAHA.. Seriously. Who writes these articles? I don't see how this is supporting his/her viewpoint here. If one of my friends starts thinking the windshield is a viewfinder for foes and obstacles and thinks things are going to jump out and kill them through the windshield, I'd be pretty worried

Is that the standard nowadays? As long as escapism and living in your own fantasy world helps you somehow in daily life (ie become a better driver), it's a good thing. Even if you start imagining your house to be a military fort and anticipating things to jump out at you while you drive.

Shovelin'

Finally snowed enough for a large chunk of people not to come to work, or to come 2 hours+ late.
Working at home today for the first time; a lot of fun