Snow day mindset

So much snow this winter!

I got a lot of "practice" driving in snow, since I still have to get to work even if there's 1-2 feet of snow on the ground. "practice" because you never quite get good at it. You might become more experienced, like no sharp turns, slow down when you turn, etc. but there are still areas where driving in snow is unpredictable, even for the experienced. No amount of practice makes it completely perfect/safe. Like, there was one time, I was making a very wide turn--wasn't even a sharp turn--, and i was physically turning the wheel very slowly, but still going straight even though I was turning the wheel. My car just made beeping sounds at me, telling me that my steering wheel wasn't in sync with my physical tires. Finally after a few seconds, it started turning--just in time. When I was driving back home from work, even the highway was not cleared of snow. You couldn't see where each lane starts or stops, since the whole ground is white.. And it was still snowing sideways--the snow was going straight at my windshield. Since it was dark, all I saw was snow flying at me--couldn't see the road ahead or anything.; probably only saw a few feet in front of where i was driving. Every couple exits, there's a car on the side of the road due to some driving-in-the-snow accident

I don't even give a second thought to all this. I have gotten used to the many snow storms while living here. Driving in the snow is no big deal now. In new jeresey, if it snows this much, there would be a "state emergency" declaration and no one would even bother going to work.

In my company, everyone still came to work. Maybe 50% of the people were an hour late, but that's it. Just an hour. Our vendors/suppliers, however, had "snow day mindset". They'd email us and say that they can't make it to the 11am meeting, since the highways weren't cleared yet, etc. .... My coworker complained that all of globalfoundries was here, what do they mean they can't make it. I was explaining to him that it's not that they can't make it. It's a mindset thing. They just have "snow day mindset". If it snows, they're like OOOO snow day ! . no school, no work. whereas we have a 24/7 operations mindset. The plant operations go on even if weather is terrible.

So yea, it's all a mindset thing. I've worked here so long that I don't even think twice at whether or not I should go into office if there's a snow storm. Of course, I should have this kind of discipline/training for spiritual things too.

Mary Martha

In my women's book study, someone asked an interesting question about the Mary & Martha passage (Luke 10). She asked: "How would you recreate the story?"

Someone said they would have Mary and Martha both do the work so they could finish it in half the time and both sit at Jesus' feet.

Someone else said they would have both of them sit at Jesus' feet, and just have faith that Jesus would provide the food. (just like how He fed the 10,000)

At the time, I said I would have them do the same thing, except that Martha would serve joyfully instead of bitterly, and that Martha wouldn't pick on Mary like that. It seems that Martha has the gift of serving, or the tendency to serve. If you have that tendency, then go do it, but without self-righteousness or complaint. She should think to herself that by working, she can allow Mary to spend time with Jesus. It's just like how some husbands and wives have to rotate watching the baby while the other is inside listening to the service at Church or a retreat. When my brother was a baby, my dad always walked him when he cried in restaurants--so that the rest of us could have a good time. My dad always makes the sacrifice, and never complains.

But now, thinking about the passage again, I think I would just have both of them sit at Jesus' feet. Whether or not Jesus does a miracle and makes food is not important. physical Food is not as important as Spiritual food. They can fast for a meal for all I care. If I was Mary, I would want Martha to also sit by Jesus' feet and share my love for Jesus with me. It seems like in the passage Martha is not "getting" Jesus' presence. If you were really overwhelmed by His presence, you wouldn't behave like Martha.

Funny thing is that every bible study where they discuss this Mary Martha passage, more people say they relate to Martha than to Mary. Maybe because I related more to Mary, I recreated the story at first with Martha still doing the work. But deep inside, I do desire for all the Martha-tendency people to sit and enjoy God without worrying. If my dad went to a retreat, i wouldn't want him worrying about what time to pick up my brother from the kids' center; i would want him to be engaged, and to listen to the word of God

Malta

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

Sometimes we know what other people are thinking because we've been around them long enough. I haven't read psalm 139 in so long that I forgot that precious, sweet verse. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar.

It's like the perceptive manager who knows what is going on even though no one tells him. who knows who is doing the work and who is all talk. And after knowing and having such a manager, you end up trusting his decisions such that you don't try to copy him on all your emails just to prove that you are doing 'so much' work. You know that he'll take care of your workload and that he trusts you to give you important things to do.

I guess I am blessed to have had two good managers who have, in a way, helped me to understand God a bit better. I mean--I know it's a terrible way to understand God, but pastors make analogies of God's love with a parent's love too, so I'm allowed to make human analogies too. (although of course, business is more cruel than the family)


Funny story today. I randomly open my ipad and decide to read Acts 28 (partly because my church is part of an Acts 29 church network, so i figured I would read Acts 28), and the first verse says:
Once successfully on shore, we found out the island was called Malta

haha. what a prophetic moment (maybe).

A Home position

After a year of going to the same Church, I'm still in the newbie position. I know like 15 people, maybe 20, even thought there's probably 400. Partially because it's an American Church and they don't have "lunch time" (informally or officially) afterwards, and partially because I don't have kids--since you know how kids are so pure that they make friends in 5 minutes and then afterwards, the moms of the kids become friends too. And because i worked Saturdays, whenever there was hiking or random activities, I couldn't go.

Anyway, getting to the point. Tribe (small groups) started again (since apparently they shut down in the summer), and after the first tribe meeting, the leaders messaged me thanking me for coming. I was instantly reminded of CBS/college fellowships, where we send our first time visitors things after coming, to make them feel noticed and welcomed, so that perhaps they will come again. (That's how CBS got me actually--that, and a promise of a 1:1 prayer partner--which in my mind meant guaranteed close friend). Anyway, back to the point.. I felt really moved at that message.

This past week was my first M-F (monday to friday) week in the past year of working. Finally, I'm back to M-F schedule. I had to celebrate by "doing something" on Saturday, so I went and played frisbee with people from Church--(we have a central posting system where you can see what activities people are doing and join them, kind of like facebook). Today one of the sisters who played frisbee with me this Saturday messaged me and asked me how I was doing. I had just met her for the first time this Saturday.

Thinking back this past year, I'm really thankful for all the people in my Church and surrounding Churches / Christians in the area who have reached out to me and welcomed me to their groups, or asked me how I was doing, though they barely knew me. And now thinking about it, I used to be in that position where I was able to reach out to visitors, care for them, talk to them and pray that they would not fall away if they came only occasionally.  I want to be in that position again. In the "home" position, where this is my home and I welcome people in, and make them feel included, and welcomed and make sure they don't get lost.

I guess there is the home position and the "go" position (ie missionaries)... and... I'm in the wanderer position. Wandering around looking for ..i dont even know

Anyway, even the 'go' position is a 'home' position. Your home can be moving, because home is where the family of Christ is. Home crosses all borders, all cultural barriers, age gaps, educational differences and economic statuses. God is in you and you are welcoming people to your home

Realistic

In a meeting where we are discussing some things,
The manager says: "We have to be realistic"

That sentence stayed with me for a few days.

I thought back to my church's "woman's ministry's kickoff event" where the pastor's wife talked about something  some women fantasize about and said "that is an idol" .

So these phrases rolled around in my head " you have to be realistic". "that is an idol".

Lying on my bed with these thoughts in my head, I said to myself: Jamie, you have to be realistic. Your imagined life is an idol. You have to be realistic.

Then I thought back to one of the "TheTruthProject" videos we watched in this young adult group i go to. In one of the discussions, they said, Truth is God's reality.

If insanity is a loss of touch with reality , then I'm slowly going insane.


Jamie, you have to be realistic.You need to see with God's reality. And you need God

Another Winter

Just went to Target @8:30pm on a Sunday.

It was so cold outside--I was wearing short sleeves with long pants. It's only the beginning of September; it's not supposed to be that cold at 8:30pm. What's wrong with the east coast? It's like as soon as school starts, it's cold. It makes me think of the high school days when I waited at the bus stop for the school bus. Also made me wonder how I survived last winter. I dont even remember what I did last winter. Just went ice skating a few times, visited Cornell a few times....  what am I doing with my life? This is what cold weather inspires. A lot of thinking.

I'm living and thinking like there's no eternity or something. In college, I used to think that it's okay if I die, since I'll be with God and I can't wait for that day. But now, there's really very little of eternity in my heart. I'm living for the present and it's pretty sad. I'm 23 and I don't have much longer that I can easily just do whatever the hell I want to do. gosh, 23 is like mid-age already in my mind. Basically by 25 or 26, most people have decided the realm of what they want to do with their life. Spiritually, the age people grow the most is when they are young too.

oh right, forgot why i mentioned target @830 on a Sunday. It closes at 9pm cuz it's a Sunday. Feels weird to work Tues-Saturday sometimes. But that's such a first-world-country-middle-class problem; should stop fussing about my works schedule. As the economy gets better, people's mouths get larger too.

Waking up

It's hard to wake up on the weekends.

It's really strange how my body seems to know when it is a weekday and when it is a weekend.
This Sunday I finally made it to church after missing the past two weekends. I forced myself to get up and shower, and when I finally got in the car it felt like a weekday, 

What is a weekday?  A weekday is responsibilities, people,  surprises,  speed,  passion. I guess that's what a weekend should be too. I must be missing out on life.