Realizations

I'm winding down already, and there are still 2 weeks left. But it's good that I'm starting earlier this year. I realized last year after finals, that suddenly when you have nothing to do, life hits you really hard, and you realize that you've been distracted by school the whole time and not really thinking about how you are doing.

I didn't know how I was doing today, until I began talking to someone I haven't seen in a long time. She asked me how I was doing. With people you see every day, you can be like "I'm good", but with people you haven't seen in a year, you feel bad not telling them a more complete story of your semester or life. So I was like "Hmmm... let me think about how I am doing" and I began rambling, and it got longer and longer and I was just thinking out loud. And then finally I came to a conclusion about how I am doing and it hit me. I was like WOW, I didn't even know how I was doing until I told you how I was doing.

And I realized that I don't feel connected with people (not specific people, but people in general--like the human population), when I don't have extended conversations with people about stuff in my heart. As in rambling conversations. I had quite a few today, and I'm so thankful for them. It's so nice to have people who are willing to just sit and listen to me think out loud. And I find out so much from these conversations.