My mom sent me the sweetest text today.
Happy anniversary for your job - remember you said you could not pass one year!
I forgot that it was my job anniversary. My mom always reminds me to be grateful.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Getting Old
I had this sudden realization when I was back home. My mom's teeth were hurting, and it hit me that my parents are getting old. That I'm pretty much on my own very soon. That this cycle of life is slowly turning and it's becoming my turn.
Made me ponder that verse where the guy wants to follow Jesus, but asks to first bury his father. But Jesus says to let that go. Let the dead bury the dead.
This is it. What am I doing? Or, maybe the question is: how am I doing? How am I spending my time...
Will I be ready for God? Or stuck in my ways of life
a couple coworkers asked me this weekend why I was working 24/7. I remember when I first started at this company, I told a coworker that my policy was to go home as early as possible, and not to overwork. She asked why that was so, since usually people have the idea that they should work harder while they are still young. I said something about how it's not a good habit to work a lot--then you don't get to develop your life outside of work. And then you can't get out of working a lot. Something like that. Forgot what I said, but maybe it was a bit naive at the time. I think working a bit more is fine, as long as you know who you are even at work. Don't forget the people around you. A leader encourages, cares and creates other leaders, not hogs the attention.
most importantly don't forget to think about how you are doing. with Jesus. If work gets in the way, push it back. Most of the time, it's unrelated, esp in causation, though there probably is correlation. Work doesn't worsen relationships inherently, but your heart towards it (and during it) might.
Made me ponder that verse where the guy wants to follow Jesus, but asks to first bury his father. But Jesus says to let that go. Let the dead bury the dead.
This is it. What am I doing? Or, maybe the question is: how am I doing? How am I spending my time...
Will I be ready for God? Or stuck in my ways of life
a couple coworkers asked me this weekend why I was working 24/7. I remember when I first started at this company, I told a coworker that my policy was to go home as early as possible, and not to overwork. She asked why that was so, since usually people have the idea that they should work harder while they are still young. I said something about how it's not a good habit to work a lot--then you don't get to develop your life outside of work. And then you can't get out of working a lot. Something like that. Forgot what I said, but maybe it was a bit naive at the time. I think working a bit more is fine, as long as you know who you are even at work. Don't forget the people around you. A leader encourages, cares and creates other leaders, not hogs the attention.
most importantly don't forget to think about how you are doing. with Jesus. If work gets in the way, push it back. Most of the time, it's unrelated, esp in causation, though there probably is correlation. Work doesn't worsen relationships inherently, but your heart towards it (and during it) might.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Greatest Worship Leader
God is the greatest worship leader.
Seriously. It makes all the difference. How you lead, or rather, how God leads. How you let God lead. And sometimes that doesn't come as our natural instinct... to let God lead .
But O God, please be our greatest worship leader each and every day in our lives
Seriously. It makes all the difference. How you lead, or rather, how God leads. How you let God lead. And sometimes that doesn't come as our natural instinct... to let God lead .
But O God, please be our greatest worship leader each and every day in our lives
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Feels Weird
I know this may sound weird, but it feels weird (or maybe just new) playing games one-on-one with a new friend--and i dont mean multi-player online games or computer games you would play by yourself anyway--. I mean games you wouldn't play by yourself (like board games or games you aren't in love with)
Maybe guys have it right. Playing games is a way of getting to know someone... even if it feels like i'm playing a forced game with my brother. I can never understand how guys are so good at being excited about games. I could never pull it off with any kind of female (or male) guest: "Hey! Let's play a game!" . It's more like: "..so... do you want to play a game .. ? " (lack of confidence in that the game will be fun... or out of practice with hospitality).
Anyway, I played a cranium game today with my roommate.
It is great how 2 completely different lives can share a common bond. Like roommates. We're not at the same company, nor the same age, nor the same school, and do not have any mutual friends. But we decide to spend time together and do things together. It is a rather conscious decision. In the first few requests/opportunities, I feel like you can't have any rejections/misses; otherwise, both people will initiate less, and you'll both get into the habit of doing your own thing, and once you get into a routine, you'll almost never spend time together again, or will exponentially have fewer opportunities to do so.
Maybe that's how many other relationships work, and many other aspects of life. Get the start right and it'll be a lot easier. oh, the routine life. Why do we settle in so quickly?
my director's favorite quote:
The only constant is change
(except you know who)
Maybe guys have it right. Playing games is a way of getting to know someone... even if it feels like i'm playing a forced game with my brother. I can never understand how guys are so good at being excited about games. I could never pull it off with any kind of female (or male) guest: "Hey! Let's play a game!" . It's more like: "..so... do you want to play a game .. ? " (lack of confidence in that the game will be fun... or out of practice with hospitality).
Anyway, I played a cranium game today with my roommate.
It is great how 2 completely different lives can share a common bond. Like roommates. We're not at the same company, nor the same age, nor the same school, and do not have any mutual friends. But we decide to spend time together and do things together. It is a rather conscious decision. In the first few requests/opportunities, I feel like you can't have any rejections/misses; otherwise, both people will initiate less, and you'll both get into the habit of doing your own thing, and once you get into a routine, you'll almost never spend time together again, or will exponentially have fewer opportunities to do so.
Maybe that's how many other relationships work, and many other aspects of life. Get the start right and it'll be a lot easier. oh, the routine life. Why do we settle in so quickly?
my director's favorite quote:
The only constant is change
(except you know who)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Be the Loud Worshipper
Be the loud worshipper. Lift out your hands and sing your entire heart out to the one who is catching you. Or hugging you. Sometimes you can't tell the difference. It's like you've grown up. Maybe if things at work are going great, if you are feeling super accomplished and useful you'll forget all that is needed in the world beyond "just business". The personal world that is at once more meaningful and dark, and beautiful and complicated.
At the end of the day, lift up your hands and praise the One who holds them. With dove's eyes, overwhelmed by His love.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Have-more-want-more syndrome
So, visiting my distant half-relatives in China was an interesting experience.
This one older guy (50s/60s) was telling me that 15 years ago all people wanted was not to be hungry, but now what people want is a house and a car. So if you dont have a house and a car, you can't get a wife.
Quite interesting. Then, when I got back to the states, I was quite thankful for my job, since I'm comparing with folks in China (more specifically the slightly poorer regions of China), my job is very good. But now and again, I'm finding myself wanting more than what I already have. Perhaps a job that lets me work M-F instead of Tues-Sat. Perhaps a better area, one that has more people.. Perhaps a better Church that hangs out outside of Church activities..
The list is never ending. it's like trying to find the things to fill that feeling inside that something is missing. Maybe it's lack of direction in life. Lack of purpose or calling. Where am I going? Where are you leading me? I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe I am. Maybe I miss college, and the fellowship. Maybe I miss hugs, touches and deep conversations. Maybe I miss worshipping in living rooms. Maybe I miss seeing people totally in love with Jesus. Maybe I miss encouraging my brothers and sisters, and having them encourage me. I do. I do miss these things, and it's not easy to be a self-starter, to start what you see is missing from your community. It's much easier to do my own thing and ignore the 'something's missing' feeling.
This one older guy (50s/60s) was telling me that 15 years ago all people wanted was not to be hungry, but now what people want is a house and a car. So if you dont have a house and a car, you can't get a wife.
Quite interesting. Then, when I got back to the states, I was quite thankful for my job, since I'm comparing with folks in China (more specifically the slightly poorer regions of China), my job is very good. But now and again, I'm finding myself wanting more than what I already have. Perhaps a job that lets me work M-F instead of Tues-Sat. Perhaps a better area, one that has more people.. Perhaps a better Church that hangs out outside of Church activities..
The list is never ending. it's like trying to find the things to fill that feeling inside that something is missing. Maybe it's lack of direction in life. Lack of purpose or calling. Where am I going? Where are you leading me? I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe I am. Maybe I miss college, and the fellowship. Maybe I miss hugs, touches and deep conversations. Maybe I miss worshipping in living rooms. Maybe I miss seeing people totally in love with Jesus. Maybe I miss encouraging my brothers and sisters, and having them encourage me. I do. I do miss these things, and it's not easy to be a self-starter, to start what you see is missing from your community. It's much easier to do my own thing and ignore the 'something's missing' feeling.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Lease is ending
My lease is ending and my roommate is leaving, all of which comes with a lot of thinking...
Frequently ask myself "What do I want?" And boy is that a difficult question
Do I want a townhouse so I can host parties and gatherings? But then who would live with me? ... Do I want another random roommate again? If I have a random roommate, I can't really invite people over as easily...And is that all I want, is that what it boils down to? Inviting people over? (or does it actually boil down to the search for college life and friendships again?)
"What do I want?" What kind of life am I imagining? Whatever it is, it won't be remedied by having a house or a place of my own. My desires are too deep for such a shallow solution. Ah, but anyway I still need to decide very soon whether to renew my contract, find a different apartment, or (make my mom) buy a townhouse.
Frequently ask myself "What do I want?" And boy is that a difficult question
Do I want a townhouse so I can host parties and gatherings? But then who would live with me? ... Do I want another random roommate again? If I have a random roommate, I can't really invite people over as easily...And is that all I want, is that what it boils down to? Inviting people over? (or does it actually boil down to the search for college life and friendships again?)
"What do I want?" What kind of life am I imagining? Whatever it is, it won't be remedied by having a house or a place of my own. My desires are too deep for such a shallow solution. Ah, but anyway I still need to decide very soon whether to renew my contract, find a different apartment, or (make my mom) buy a townhouse.
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