Maybe awkward isn't the right word. Perhaps I just mean a vacation you don't want even though you are supposed to want it. Or maybe I mean: a vacation at the wrong time.
I just finished Global Awakening's 3 week summer intensive school. I was so inspired/encouraged by seeing all these people who love God so much, and who love people. People who initiate loving other people. I was talking to a friend from NJ and I was joking with her, saying that all these people in the 3 week school are targeting me because I look unhappy. I was like: one day this woman just came up to me and gave me a one minute hug and told me I was God's jewel. (It was literally one minute because I tried to release the hug multiple times thinking it was over, but it wasn't; after a while, I was okay I guess I'll just hold on. lol). There were so many others who just leaked the love of Jesus, and so many who went out of their way to say hello to me and greet me even though I didn't do that for them. These people are great. It's so amazing when you meet people who are so willing to love on you and pour into you, even though you may never see them again after these 3 weeks.
Tomorrow I'm going to Shanghai, then Taiwan, for vacation and relatives-visiting. But my heart is not really in the mood for vacation. I'm just so in love with Jesus right now, and I honestly just want to spend more time with Him, to learn to hear His voice more clearly, to spend time soaking in His presence. I know God is with me even on the vacation. But it feels weird. Like I'm supposed to want to go to Asia to eat good food, but I don't even care about food that much right now. I have very little appetite. It's seriously just like being in love. I just want to keep this forever. I never want the honeymoon phase to be over. And I know it's possible because I've met people these past few weeks who live like this every day. Most of them are in or have gone to the full time school. I'm putting that in the back of my mind, saving it for later. Perhaps one day, I'll come.
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