first week's okay. and so is second week. maybe third.
Then school actually starts.
This is maybe the first time I want to stay home. Stay home, eat apples, apply to jobs, pretend to read textbooks. Read magazines about the decline of America instead.
and listen to my mom's cheery voice.
Well, the bright side is that I get to move around. Every two months, I enter a new state or city or country. Readjust, come back, readjust again. Woo. Carefree Nomad.
But sometimes when we go on vacation, we're not really adjusting to our surroundings. We go there to get something out of it, to bring something back. When we walk on the streets, we're not looking to understand the place, we're looking for a special experience, a unique gift, a picture-worthy scene. Something to bring back. Get something out of the trip.
But when you begin to fall in love with the place, you begin to think about what could you give to it, instead of what you can get from it. Sometimes you even think about what you can bring from your hometown to give to the new place. Not just materials goods, but skills, culture, experience, etc. When you begin to love a place and the people, you think about what you could offer them, what you could give them. And then, you adopt some of their culture and adjust to some of their thinking.
I really love Shanghai, and being there has changed me a little, but once I get immersed into Cornell life, I'll change back and readjust back. I don't want to change. I can't explain how I've changed; it's something you just have to sense. Big cities are a dangerous place; people change there. Not a good change, nor a bad change, strictly speaking.
It's the same with God. Sometimes you know there are certain conferences or meetings or people you want to avoid. because God often uses those certain ones to change you. Sometimes you don't want to change.
But God is like that. He changes you anyway. Because He melts your heart of stone. My heart is probably titanium. In three weeks it'll probably be squishy. I bet. God does that. He loves me too much.
squishy heart!
ReplyDeleteWait till you get to work. Then it's "first week's okay. and so is second week. maybe third." and then it's just the same thing foreverrrrrrrrr.
ReplyDeleteI once heard on the radio that vacations are meant to re-energize you for your regular life. Hope that you don't get discouraged and tired at school, but that you continue to find energy to love those around you!