God's side

He's on the outside. He's above us. He sees the big picture.
But He's also on the inside. He sees beneath and behind and within

I am beginning to realize that I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I really don't know anything. I only know and trust God. I only know that I can trust God, and that I can know God, because He says that I can.

I just remember a speaker who said: "You think it just takes believing. But it takes more than just believing. It takes obedience, and ..and... ".... etc. forgot the rest. I just remember obedience. And that it takes more than just believing. The speaker also said boldly: "I know how to love God".

It doesn't matter if the speaker is right or not. but it made me realize that I've been asking that question. How, exactly, do I love God? How does one love God? Obedience is key. what else?

I wish all the brokenness in the world could be healed. All of creation is groaning..

After my freshman year, I went to a 4 day secular leadership camp called LeaderShape. We had to make visions/dreams--things we want to see on tomorrow's newspaper. It had to be something impossible or big, like "World Hunger has ended".

The funny thing is that all 40 of us were engineers from Cornell. And all of us wrote things related to seeing brokenness end. At the end of it all, we all asked ourselves why we were engineers if we just cared about orphans and broken kids and stuff like that.

I wrote about creating a program that offered free private sports instruction to boys from single-parent homes. because I know and have seen the effect of good fatherly coaches on guys, as well as how being good at sports really builds up someone's confidence

In high school, I would daydream about buying a lot of houses in Texas (where they are cheap) and just adopting a ton of kids/orphans and loving them.

In middle school, I would daydream about going to poor people's houses and giving them food and lamps and stuff they need.

Now that I'm in college.... I have fallen into normal-life-mode, but I think it's okay; I was too cliche before. The truth is that we are all broken...  it's not just the orphans or kids with abusive parents in those shelters. That's why we are / should be a light in this world. Everywhere we go there is brokenness. Even though I myself am broken, God can still use me to speak truth into other people's brokenness.

Sometimes it's hard to look brokenness in the eye, and still stand for the hope God promises. And still have faith. Sometimes it's even hard to love, because  you don't think you are able to do anything at all, or have any effect at all

But these three remain. Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is love.

We need to stand for these things, and pray, believing God hears our prayers and gives us what we ask. Not a guilt-trip-check-list. Put weight on that prayer. And speak what God tells you to say; and go, and obey. Go talk to that woman at that well. Initiate and pursue the conversation.

Okay, don't really know what I'm talking about; I'm trying to say everything on my heart, but I'm saying too much random stuff. God, help us; hear our prayers. is what I should say.