I wish I had known earlier

So many epiphanies.

Not epiphanies that bring about excitement. But, maybe more like sadness. I wish I had known earlier. I wish I had realized earlier. I wish I had had this epiphany earlier. I wish I hadn't hurt people. I wish I had blessed more people and built them up and encouraged them. I wish I had known they were hurting at those times.

Most people at this time, would say to me: it's okay. God is gracious. But that's not my conclusion because I don't feel any guilt.

But I do feel sadness.

It is so, so sad to realize how much God loves someone, and to realize how you did not show that person love in the way God loves them.

We all need that--we need other people to show us love. We need to be healed. Showing people love can heal them.

One person said to me something like "I don't know how to do that, because I was never shown how to do that"--as in, I don't know how to love in that way, because no one did that for me.

I think a couple years ago at split gender/ladies sharing at the end of the year, people including myself, were realizing how big an issue "favoritism", or exclusiveness was. How vulnerable people are to feeling like they are left out, or feeling like others are favored more! Yes, it is because of sin that we feel that way, but being loved can set us free from those types of sinful feelings and wrong mindsets. And set us free to love God and focus and grow in God. Instead of harboring bitterness and holding onto that stuff.

Love covers over a multitude of sins.
Your love can cover someone else's favoritism. Your favoritism can cover someone else's favoritism.

There's nothing wrong with favoritism. Jesus favored Peter James and John. But the sin is failing to recognize other people's needs. Forgetting to love that other person. You don't have to accept everyone into your close friends circle, but you have to love everyone like Jesus. You don' t have to make everyone your Peter, James and John, but you have to love everyone. Not just say hi to the Samaritan woman, but speak love into her heart as well. Like what Jesus did. He looked at her and said stuff. looked at her

A professor came up to me a few weeks ago, and gave me a side-hug, and said to me: "How are you, favorite one?"

It was very healing. He said it genuinely, and I knew it was true. I am probably one of his favorites. (but he probably also said that as a revelation from God for me).  His love from God, covered over my struggles with other people being favored. And released me to realize this. And released me to spot this issue and help others with this issue. And helped me to release other favored people into the freedom of being favored and enjoying that favor

Love is so powerful, much more powerful than we often realize. And we are much more affected by love than we realize.

And these three remain: faith, hope and love. And the most important of these is love