Come quickly to my rescue

Yesterday, while studying for psych of emotions, I started scribbling on the back cover of my psych notebook. And here is part of it:

"how do we know that...how we perceive, the way we reason is true or right or accurate? And we don't know, and we think we know, and this gets confusing.

Thanks to the billions of patterns of reasoning, the billions of underlying messages in movies, sermons, books and people['s words], we are confused...the billions of ideas...

It's ok if our ideas do not agree [with other people's], but it feels horrible to not have our own idea, or worse, to want to have some conviction about life and questions, but to really not know. And we can make up some "superior" logic that sounds good at the time, but deep inside we know that we really don't know. We know the mind is deceptive. We don't know what will happen today or tomorrow or the next hour.

All this is very humbling and perhaps painfully confusing. We don't even know if we should be thinking this much. And when I say "we", I mean "I".

Turn your ear to me.
Come quickly to my rescue
Be my rock of refuge
A strong fortress to save me
Since you are my rock and my fortress
For the sake of your name lead and guide me ~psalm 31 "
-----

I don't like being confused. I'm not confused about God/faith. It's more like confusion about what I'm supposed to be doing, and my motivations, and what are correct motivations, and how do we know what our motivations are anyway?, and if even our memories are flawed, how do we know anything, or ourselves?, and everyone thinks that their reasoning is "more right" than other people's, and how can we do anything if we don't trust the way we reason, and if we don't even know what logic is or if we are supposed to use logic, and maybe "logic" is just a word. I guess you can' t/shouldn't think like that. But maybe that's avoiding thinking, and maybe that's bad. But maybe it's not. Maybe pride or deception is why I come up with these thoughts. Or maybe it's my personality. But I guess it doesn't matter does it? God matters. All this confusing blah will pass away. Only Eternity matters.

This is the type of confusion I'm talking about. Not knowing why you're doing things or how this all is supposed to work. and other small things.

I need to start preaching the Word to myself in my mind, and stop just reasoning in circles, or thinking about useless things (and imagining conversations in my head). I need to press on and take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me (phil. 3)

You know when you exercise, and afterward it's hard for your mind to wander, and it's a lot easier to focus on one thing? I feel like that's what should happen when we really set our minds on things above, on His Kingdom, on His truth. And that's what I feel like happens when I memorize chunks of the bible and constantly remind myself of who God is. Because He is greater. His thoughts are higher (thank goodness), and His ways are higher.

Free me from the trap that is set before me
for you are my refuge

Into your hands I commit my spirit
redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth
~psalm 31

wow. I'm so glad that God is so awesome haha.