Enneagram 9

I read about the Enneagram way back in middle school and/or high school. At that time, I thought it was an okay personality test, and that the myers briggs was way more helpful in understanding others.

But today, I just read the ennegram description of myself, and it was super insightful--both the description of myself and my romantic compatibility with various types.

Things that really resonated with me:

1.  9s tend to idealize their romantic partner and sometimes the other person cannot live up to the image that the 9 has of them in their imagination. 9s that are paired with other 9s can be problematic because most of the relationship may occur in their imagination of the other rather than being in real contact with the other person
2. 9s tend to focus on other people, wondering what they are like, etc. They tend to melt into other people and have difficulty knowing or admitting their own needs
3. Growth recommendations: 9s should try to exert themselves and pay attention to what is going on and not tune out or daydream. They should exercise more to be more aware of their own body

A lot of passiveness and imagination. 

I really resonate with the imagination part. I feel that a lot of the deep affection I have for my friends stems out of frequent idealization and imagination of our friendship. That's not necessarily bad. It helps me to be loyal, despite infrequency of contact. It helps me to have strong affections for people. But I can see how it can become problematic in a romantic relationship when you have to deal with real issues and not just idealize the other person. 

I also really resonate with a tendency to 'melt into other people' and not know how you feel because you're so focused on how others feel. The best example I can think of is when I was coordinating housing in college. In my heart, I really wanted to live with certain people, but my mind really did not know what my heart wanted. I literally thought I was cool with whatever and was willing to sacrifice myself for the group. Often, it is only when I am alone at night, when I realize how I truly feel and what I truly want. When I'm with people, it's hard to feel and know what I truly want. It's a very strange phenomenon that actually happens quite often, though this example is pretty old. 

Tuning out. I think this happens more with unfamiliar settings due to being an introvert. I know I tend to tune out when there's too many people I don't know, but I try not to. I really don't like it when I tune out. I feel un-human when that happens, like am I really alive? Am I really on this earth?