What's right

Sometimes we're just so obsessed with doing what's "right", when there's no right answer. There's only whatever God wants, but you're not really sure what God wants. And when you think you know what God wants, some people tell you you're wrong. And then you're like, well what if those people are wrong? But what if I'm wrong?

Sometimes it's so annoying when people tell you you're wrong. Not because I don't want to be wrong, though that is always part of it. But it's more because it makes you doubt your ability to hear from God and it erodes your confidence in your own wisdom and ability to make decisions. It's almost sets you back a step spiritually & maturity-wise, like you're not sure if you can make any decisions on your own anymore. you thought you felt conviction; you thought you heard from God, but maybe you didn't. Maybe you're wrong.

I guess it's better to be humble and slightly less confident about my ability to hear from God, than to be prideful and make the "right" decision? And if God really wanted me to make that decision, He could probably remove the obstacles. And I guess sometimes we have to accept the fact that we will sometimes never really know if we made the right choice or not, if that's really what God wanted.

The problem with all of this, is that you are responsible for your decisions. Other people can provide counsel, but you have to make the decision. You own all the responsibility of that decision. So, at the end of the day, you have to believe it's the right decision. There has to be some conviction, even if your conviction changed 50 times in the process.

Maybe that's the beauty of life and the process. Trust the process. Trust God in the process, even when He seems silent. Freedom includes the freedom to make mistakes. Freedom also includes the freedom to ask God any detail at all, because He cares about all the details. I mean, seriously, God could have been like: just build a big boat. But He gave detailed instructions to Noah on how to build that ark.

Anyway, in conclusion, I can still have confidence in my identity as a daughter, and that Father God is proud of me.

In the quiet pride of my Father's eyes
I remember who I am
When I feel the warmth of my Father's smile
Feels like I've been born again

-Born Again by Cory Asbury