Consumed by my own life

Man, it's good to be in a small group with people of different age ranges and backgrounds and struggles.
Easy to forget that there's a world out there, as in outside of your own mind.

and man, I could stare into their baby's eyes forever. They are so watery and pure. and beautiful
(small group leader has a baby)

But even though it was a good wake-up call that I've been consumed with my own life, and it was really nice to be able to look at beautiful baby eyes, it wasn't an auto-focus-adjustment either, as I still could not empathize with any of the struggles of anyone else in the group. It was a perspective adjustment of the mind, but not an adjustment of the heart.

I watched a movie about Hollywood LA culture recently, and it makes me sad that it's quite true not just in the LA area. Drug and sex addiction and searching for fame or meaning... Whenever I watch those movies where the people are addicted to drugs and completely hopeless, I get it. It's one of those situations where you go deeper and deeper into lost-dom until you realize you need help.

And I've been thinking about this world. All of us need help, seriously. But the culture has become so individualized that we've forgotten how to be friends and how to initiate and protect and love. How to intrude into people's lives, grab them by the arm and take them out. Like a big brother.

I've been truly blessed with true friendships and initiative friends who have taught me what it means to love by initiating. The world needs more people to intrude into lives. Because honestly, people want you to intrude. People want to be saved. Yea, they'll do their own thing, live an individualized, my-own-private-space read-my-own-books do-my-own-thing type of life, but they really do want the intrusion. The one thing I like about Chinese culture (remember, I consider myself more American than Chinese), is that Chinese culture initiates and is less individualized (more groupy) than American culture.

I read an article recently that said that after age 30 or so, it gets increasingly more difficult to develop deep friendships (even if you are still single by then). So, trust is a big issue when it comes to intruding into other people's lives. I keep thinking that when I have my own house, I'd invite people over for dinner to get to know them better, (as in, not people who are already my friends, but maybe coworkers and such), but then again, it's probably wishful thinking. I'll probably be too busy with family by then, or too lazy, or too "busy" with nothing at all. And so, once again, we leave that initiating work to the missionaries and tent-makers who dedicate their lives to initiation and finding opportunities to love.

It's easy to be consumed