April

It's April and the sun is shining. And I'm starting to lose motivation for working. This happened around the same time last year too. But I think it's less severe this year. At least I'm going to make it less severe. I've already decided.

sigh. Man, and I thought I had developed a good understanding of what it meant to work as if I were working for God.

I realized that on days that I lose motivation to do work, I also lose sight of God. When I say losing sight of God, I actually mean losing sight of direction, of focused and specific thoughts about God and what He is doing in the community and people around me. I don't mean losing faith, or not loving God.

Maybe it's because we are meant to be more connected in each other's growth in God than we actually are. On those days, even having a normal-to-slightly-serious conversation can immediately bring back motivation to do work, although usually only temporarily.

O Lord, You have searched me

and You know me.

Well, I can analyze myself all I want, but really, I don't really know myself. But God knows me.