I force myself to write at least 1 blog post every month, so I'm nearing my deadline here.
I'm not always as deep as my blog posts tend to be. If you catch me sharing about my week at life group, I'll most likely tell you what I did rather than how I am doing. Even when (or if) my closest friends ask me how I'm doing, I may not always be able to provide a deep satisfying response. As in satisfying to me. I get disappointed in myself if I'm not going deep. And I feel like I owe something deep and something genuine to people. But I'm not always able to access that quickly. I have a strong desire for connection and intimacy, which I feel are facilitated by depth.
Lately, I've been sensing transition. I'm getting married soon. I transitioned to a new team at work (that works longer hours). My friends are busier (and so am I). I've been ramping up on some hobbies. Church is opening, and we all have to wake up early to drive there. Overall, I feel like I should be grieving because I am spending less time with my closer friends, compared to several months ago. But I'm not grieving, and I'm a little confused. Probably because I know it's time. It's time to transition to post-covid life. It's time to sleep early and wake up early. It's time to be focused and run. I'm excited for what God has in store for me, for us.
So what's next?
A continual pursuit of depth. I realize more and more that what I am looking for, can only be found in God. The mystery and the depth. The eye contact that reaches the soul and the physical touch that warms the heart. Nothing can replace an encounter with God, and being continually in an intimate relationship with Him. But I do think that the more we give to others, the more God gives to us. Like I remember in the past, sometimes I'm tired and don't even feel like loving others, but as soon as I see them, they are able to pull it out of me. God gives us more, when we need more. God partners with us. And I do believe the more we give, the more we receive... as a principle of stewardship. Basically, to sum it up: a pursuit of God and others.
Also, I like this music video. Not for the lyrics or even the singing, but for the heart. It's so pure.
