Will it still be the same?

When I leave college, will it be the same?

What is "it"? Will what still be the same? doesn't matter. This is one of those free-form questions that are good for people who want to talk. Since the question is pretty vague, they can answer whatever question they perceive that the question is really asking.

When I leave this place, will it still be the same?

Yes. Yes, it will still be the same. No, it won't be, but yes it will be.

If you didn't understand the line above, you're using your mind. This is one of those times when you have to look deep in the person's eyes, beyond what they are literally saying, and try to see what they are REALLY saying. This usually involves guessing and intuition haha. [by the way, I can show you what this eye contact looks like. But actually what I mean is not that you should literally look deep into someone's eyes, but that you should just get the gist of what they are saying...]

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The word "same" changes meaning depending on how you are viewing the word, (because you can't compare everything down to the molecules.. you have to choose your point of comparison).

Think about this question: "Do you feel that home and school are the same?" If you interpret it literally (or in a strange way), you would ask: what kind of question is that!? of course not. The windows in my house are different from the ones in my dorm! .... ... okay. but obviously the question-asker was referring to something else (more significant) besides the windows when he asked if they were the same.

I'm sure they've done experiments where they ask people a question and then see what the people think they are really asking.

This is why our minds have to be set on things above, and transformed by God. Even the way we perceive what questions are really asking is dependent on what we value, how we think, etc.

So will it be the same after college? will it be the same after marriage?

Yes.

why is it the same? Because God is with me. And He is with me after college. And He is always with me. And with that definition, I say yes. It will be the same.

[disclaimer: don't get upset at my post. I am not intending to be insensitive to change and how change is sometimes difficult. I am only pointing out one example of how having our minds transformed by God is important and affects everything/our perception of questions, even.]

Two things I respect

Today I realized 2 things that I respect. These are not the only two things, just two I thought of today.

1.) global focus

Right before thermo recitation began, several people stood up and left. As one of them was heading out the door, I gave him a questioning look. He came over and told me that the President of Czech Republic was speaking. He lifted his hands as a balance scale and was like "thermo recitation ... Czech president...", shrugged his shoulders and left recitation.

I was like wow, that's cool. They left immediately after they found out that the president was speaking. No hesitation, or deciding which was more important. Actually, thermo is a hard class and recitation is almost essential to completing the homework in my opinion. But obviously those people who left were more interested in global things, not preoccupied by the weekly homework grind. It was clear in their minds what was more important

I think it's very hard to do whatever you are currently doing and also be able to have your heart set on things above what you are doing---the greater things, the global things, the things that matter

2.) People who clearly "carry the group" in a project (as in do the most work), but act like they don't. They still value and respect each member of the group and want their feedback/help/opinion... and basically it is clear that they themselves do not feel that they are doing the most work. It takes humility and a servant's heart to get there. The funny thing is they don't even think they are doing the most work. They don't think about cooperation in terms of who is doing more, or what is "fair". That is cool.

Trust Falls

So, a week ago I stood outside for 3 hours doing various activities with people in my leadership theory&practice class. One of the mini-activities was doing the trust fall, which in my mind is really boring. We all chose people of similar sizes to pair up with for the fall/catch.

Yesterday, we were discussing the activities, and the teacher asked us to raise our hands if we felt that falling was harder, and then he asked us to raise our hands if we felt that catching was harder. The class was split almost 50/50. He told us that every year he noticed that it was split like that. He said he had a hypothesis: if you feel that falling is harder, it is about control. If you feel that catching is harder, it is about responsibility.

And then he told us that he used to do extreme trust falls where the person stands 5 feet into the air on some platform.

our sense of control, our sense of responsibility...which one causes us more stress to lose/fail at?

Are we more afraid that we will let someone down, or that someone will let us down?

We also discussed yesterday the top reasons for getting promoted and the top reasons for getting derailed. There were 2 slides full of reasons why people get derailed: low performance, insensitivity, over-managing, overly ambitious, poor staffing choices, betrayal of trust, unable to be strategic, arrogance, skill deficiencies, etc. We discussed all of these. And at the end, he said "there is hope". because all of these except one can be overcome.

Which one can't be overcome?

Betrayal of trust. He said: if you lose trust in a company, you should just get out.

Therefore, he said, never sacrifice your integrity.

Isn't it good that we believe in God who never fails? He keeps His word. His promises endure forever.

It's not a waste

Someone was playing the song "Let me love you more" by misty edwards on her computer, and I was baking and listening to the song for the first time. I liked the chorus, "oh won't you let me love you more, this is all that I desire". But what I liked even more was one of the verses.

I want to take my passion, and put it in a bottle

just to break it at your feet.

I want to take my affections and put them in a bottle

just to waste at your feet.

It reminded me of when Mary poured the expensive perfume over Jesus' feet. And how people criticized her for wasting it.

But it wasn't a waste!!!

When you are in love with someone, or if you really really love someone, you desire to "waste" time/energy/things/everything on them. To an outsider's perspective it's a waste; you're not being efficient; you're not using your resources wisely; you're not using what God has given you wisely; you're not using your time wisely. But you don't care. It's not a waste.

It's like when (some) guys buy a full diamond ring to propose. Dude... it's a ring. on your finger. Sounds ridiculous right? 10,000 dollars on your finger. But it is not a waste. It SEEMS like a waste. But it is not. Yes, why would you put 10,000 dollars on your finger? Yes, I see the question, the concern. What if the guy only had 10,000 dollars? Wouldn't it be better to save it for the marriage? What if he only had 5,000 dollars? It's "just" a ring. right? No. It is not just a ring. I think that a guy should be more than happy, more than willing to buy a diamond ring for a girl. (It also says something about your generosity too--or at least how you see money). I guess I'm making a very direct comparison between marriage and our relationship with Christ. But yea, it's like the Kingdom of Heaven, where you sell EVERYTHING without reserve to buy that field. You don't care about anything else.

It's like... not caring that you just spent 4 hours worshiping or spent a whole day with God, not even reading a Christian book or whatever. But just meditating on who He is, talking to Him, being in His presence, worshiping Him. It seems like "wasted time" since you didn't even "technically" obtain knowledge from a book (I'm not saying books are bad, but sometimes we ignore just being with God, being still before Him, because we consider that a "waste" when we compare it with listening to a sermon or reading a Christian book. There are many ways of getting to know God, and it should all come out of our love and passion for Him).

So yes. The concept of "let me love you more". Let me.

It's a plea. "Let me."It's not a plea to God. I'm pretty sure God will let us love Him more. The song lyrics "technically" seem incorrect.

O won't You let me love You more, this is all that I desire
Won't You let me love You more this is all that I require
Won't You let me love You more this is my deepest heart's desire
Won't You let me love You more still more and more

But you really have to get the gist of it and look beyond the technicalities. A lot of times when we make a plea to one person, or explain ourselves to one person, we're actually subconsciously defending ourselves to another person (or ourselves). (That's why when people are really strongly opinionated about something simple, it's because they're transferring their strong emotions from some other situation to this similar situation). So here, "O Let me love you more" implies that the world (or my own mind) thinks I'm wasting my time, so Lord, please defend me/my heart/my desires. let me love you more. Tell them Lord. Tell them that it pleases you when I pour my perfume at your feet. Let me love you more. We know that God will let us love Him more, just as we know it is because of Him we are able to love Him. But we either feel judgment (from our own mind), or we just know that it's kinda illogical, and so we make the plea: let me love you more. We say it to Him, but also for ourselves to hear. I want to "waste" my time on you, "waste" my hours worshiping you, being still before you, meditating on your beauty and goodness. O won't you let me love you more. So yea, not about the technical meaning, but the general tone/plea that reflects such a longing for God. It's like how in Song of Solomon 4:9, he says "you have stolen/captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes." He doesn't mean "stolen" or "captivated" in a negative way. The word just conveys the strength of the feeling.

I want to take my affections and put them in a bottle, just to waste at your feet

O won't you let me love you more.

O church, won't we love Him more? Is He not deserving of our affections? It is not always necessary to use our energy on doing "productive" things. Loving someone takes a lot of energy, even if you aren't doing anything for them. But loving someone also gives you a lot of energy. That's why some people miss it. They miss having someone to love. But how much sweeter it is to love the God who loves us.

Compliments & Encouragements

I was exploring the difference between a compliment and an encouragement today. And I looked it up.

To compliment someone is to praise them. To encourage someone is to support them to do or continue doing something. So, a compliment would be "you are good". An encouragement would be "keep it up". But I realized that you can also encourage someone through a compliment. It is harder to do though sometimes. Because often we want to be like "wOW you are SOOO GOOD at _____", and it's harder to be like "hey, you're good at this" in a keep-it-up-encouraging manner. (basically it's a difference in intention and tone when we say it. The former leans more towards flattering/adoring).

Anyway, I was thinking about this because I was very encouraged yesterday. so much so that I teared up. I am so blessed to have such a spiritually mature and wise mother who loves and fears the Lord.

Life is short. That was one of the things she said to me.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal ~2Cor4:18

Uncertainty in whether I am pleasing God

Continuing from the last post... some more thoughts

Uncertainty in whether I am pleasing God.

This is probably my least favorite of uncertainties. Often this uncertainty comes from the uncertainty of what people think of me. --AKA when (certain) people doubt my motivations or my decisions (or when I perceive that they are doubting), I start to doubt too whether or not I am pleasing God.

It was so good this morning just to read/sing the lyrics of Nothing but the Blood.

Your Blood speaks a better word

Than all the empty claims

I've heard upon this earth

Speaks righteousness for me

And stands in my defense

Jesus it's your blood

Forgiveness is so awesome.